Who Am I?

 

I am many things to many people. Who am I to you? I am a mom to Zachariah. I am a daughter to Danette and Russell, a step-daughter to Cindy. I am a sister to Mike, Matt, & Brenda. I am an aunt to Joey, Ethan, Avery, Dorian, Spencer, & Kaylee. I am a grand-daughter to William & Clara and David & Lorinda. I am a niece to Lyle, Scott, Debbie, Karen, Pam, Cindy, Sandy, Marion, Holly, Lisa, & Georgia. I am a cousin to Chris, Meghann, Halley, Emilee, Scott, Kari, Katie, Sean, Courtney, Stacie, Hannah, Jack, Will, Lyle David, Jim, Bill, Tony, Alan, Theresa, Kristina, & Tamara…that’s just my first cousins. 😉 I am a friend to many. I am God’s child, a Christian, a beacon of light & love. 

I have been a co-worker, a passer-by in the store, the woman driving ahead of you and also behind you as well as next to you, the woman next to you at the bar, the one you see/hear singing karaoke, a teammate on bowling leagues, your competitor, a foe and adversary, the woman next to you at church, a choir member, an actress on stage at school and church, a writer, a photographer, a cook, a nurse to my sick child and others I have baby-sat for, ah yes and a babysitter, a cat owner, a lover, a fighter, a doodler, a giver, a taker, a loaner, a borrower, a thief, a crier, one full of laughter, a thinker, a procrastinator, a motivator, a roommate, a loaner, a party goer, a student, a judge and jury, a forgiver, and that list goes on and on.

I am one who loves even numbers and has an obsession with things being even and symmetrical, yet my favorite numbers are 3, 7, & 11 and not really sure why. I am O.C.D. with cleanliness and organization. I can tell if people have moved my things and some have messed with me with that because they find it funny to do so, I usually am not amused, though have gotten better with it over the years. 😉 I used to HATE the color pink, but I like it now. However, nothing trumps green and deep down, it’s always been that way even though I love many colors. I am known as Rainbow Dark, Rainbow or R.D. for short in the karaoke world because of that and also my tendencies to be random and show up in all black now and then. I love music, most forms of it and the forms I don’t, I find ways to at least appreciate them….like opera, polka (good at weddings lol), most rap, etc. I have Christian Contemporary, country, pop, classical, show tunes, Disney, alternative, rock, metal, ska, punk, E.D.M, and so on in my library. It’s been a lifeline for me for my whole life, as has been my writing. They have both been great outlets for self expression. I love to read, mostly fantasy and perhaps some drama/suspense as well. I do not like horror movies, messes with the Schizophrenia that I have. I LOVE comedies, laughter is wonderful medicine for an angry mindset or someone who is tired of crying. I also love fantasies like Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, etc. Prayer is HUGE, as is my faith in general. It’s a huge part of me.

I am NOT a morning person, never really have been. I like to cook, when I have people to cook for. I have been experimenting more and more these days. I used the broiler for the first time this year and it turns out I can use it well. I also have been using spices and marinades. 🙂 I like to snuggle under a warm blanket and watch Disney or perhaps read a book till I am tired enough to sleep. I still sleep with stuffed animals and/or the pillow my grandma made me, when my boyfriend isn’t with me. I like a warm bath to relieve tension, but most days I prefer a shower so I can just get in and out. I still color and doodle, it relaxes me. I collect Tinkerbell dolls, many colorful things, butterfly stuff, and still have an obsession with Rainbow Brite. I like to watch N.C.I.S, Criminal Minds, Law & Order, & such to make my mind think. If it weren’t for the gore, I’d love to be a forensics scientist. Though I am more numbers oriented and think I’d be best suited as an accountant. If I’d ever gone for my dream however, I’d be doing Broadway to combine my love for theater and music. I’d love to be in the cast of RENT, Les Miserables, Grease, Oklahoma, and more. I will settle though for just watching and listening to the soundtracks. I wish I had more theater loving friends, eh, but it is what it is! I do also love football, GO GREEN BAY PACKERS! Oh and of course for baseball, GO BREWERS! I have tickets for opening day so that my boyfriend and I can go, it will be a first for us! I used to work at the ballpark, it will be nice to be there just as a fan. 🙂 

I hate onions, but love sour cream and onion dip, the chips are good too. Meat, yes, it is good. I especially like chicken and pork. found out how yummy they are when broiled. 😉 Cheese, it goes on a lot! I like my veggies too: cucumbers, non cooked green and yellow peppers, cauliflower, broccoli, brussel sprouts…when made right, green beans, raw spinach, corn on the cob, peas, and I suppose carrots are alright. I like strawberries, raspberries, peaches….only the fruit itself, not anything peach flavored, nectarines, pears, bananas, oranges, kiwis, black raspberries, grapes, and will tolerate apples. Bread, I usually remember a restaurant for the bread they have. I am not big on rye or the bread that has chunks of stuff in it. Olive Garden has great bread sticks and Red Lobster has great cheddar biscuits. I am not big on seafood, but I eat more than I used to. Hmm. I am hungry now. I did brush my teeth not too long ago though and I should be headed to bed soon.

Throughout my ramblings, I don’t know what you have learned, but I hope I did entertain you for a moment or two. Dream big, just remember to go for them when you wake. Love without letting fear hold you back. Sing, dance, write, be you always, LIVE! It’s never easy to find balance, but try in all aspects of your life. Do grow up enough to take care of what you need to, but never fully grow up, keep a part of your youth alive. Make mistakes, get back up, and push forward. Celebrate your triumphs and learn from your failures. Don’t be naive and be a doormat, but do let people in. Give more than you take, but don’t be afraid to accept offerings of kindness. Love more than you hate. Hate and anger consume. Forgive, not for the sake of the other, but for your own so that you may be free. Preaching about karma means you still dwell upon it, let go and let God. Don’t miss an opportunity to tell your kids you love them, that you’re proud of them. Be a friend and let people be one to you. Be good to yourself, no matter how hard it is to do. Believe in you! It took me a long time to believe in me, but now that I do, it feels great! 

Who am I? That is where I started this. I end this by saying, through all that I am to many people, at the end of the day, I am me. I am Carissa. Make of that what you will! I am finally heading to bed because I have finally grown tired enough to sleep. Good night and God bless!