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A Journey to Becoming Me

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I was determined to avoid looking like I’d just rolled out of bed 20 minutes ago and thought I was doing well too. That was until I was in the café I frequently went to, waiting for my friend to arrive, and looked in the decorative mirror on the wall and saw chunks of sleep in my eyes.

I looked around, feeling a bit embarrassed, to see if anyone was watching. When I was satisfied that everyone was busy, either glued to their smart phones, eating, or staring off into their own little worlds, I hurriedly got the gunk out of my eyes and checked the mirror a few times until I succeeded.

I was zoned out, thinking about nothing in particular, when I heard a loud clutter of pans hit the floor in the kitchen. Looking up from my reverie, I could see the cook putting one on the counter and heard him muttering to himself. Well, it appears as if I’m not the only one having a rough morning.

My friend is nearly never late, wonder where she is, it’s been almost been 45 minutes. I hear the rumbling my stomach is making and begin contemplating ordering my food. It’s a good thing I’m a regular here or I’m sure they would have been done with me just drinking cup after cup of coffee.

An hour and a half has gone by since I arrived and I’ve decided it’s time to eat. I look for Sasha, so I can place my order.

“Hey, Sasha, I don’t think Autumn is coming. I’m just going to go ahead and order now.” I told her once I’d gotten her attention.

“Sounds good, Felicity, your usual then?” she grinned.

“Actually, I was just thinking it’s time to be a little less predictable. So, let’s make it French toast today.” I smiled back.

“They say change is the spice of life.” Sasha said and winked at me.

“Yeah, it could be. I’m just tired of my days feeling like I’m a part of Groundhogs Day. I need to shake things up a bit.” I said with what was sure to be my infamous grimace.

“I hear ya, girl, I hear ya. So, any other changes you plan on making today?” she asked.

“I’m not sure, might just start small.” I said thoughtfully.

“Well, we all have to start somewhere.” she said and went to greet a new customer.

I was halfway through eating when Autumn rushed over and sat down. She had dry tear stains and smudged makeup on her face. Oh, there’ll be a good explanation for her being late, no doubt.

“Hey, sorry I’m late, Fel. I had a very rough morning and last night wasn’t so great either.” she started.

“I can tell. What did Nick do this time?” I asked, trying not to sound insensitive. I really don’t like that guy at all, but he hangs the moon and stars in her eyes. Still, after five years of this, you’d think she’d have tired of it by now. 

“Really, girl, really?” she said with a touch of anger. After a brief pause, she continued on.

“Okay, so I suppose that wasn’t uncalled for. But, this time it has nothing to do with him. He’s actually away on business and so he hasn’t been around to pick fights. No, this is far more serious than our little spats. I found out my cousin, James, you remember him don’t you? Well anyway, I found out he’s in need of kidney replacement and he’s pretty low on the wait list. I’m scared for him. He’s looking to come here to wait and for the surgery. I want to help him, but he and Nick really don’t get along, I mean, worse than you two. I don’t know what to do.” she said, sounding stressed out.

Well. I do have a spare room. But, he and I dated years ago, only briefly and she doesn’t know about that, so I don’t know if that’s a wise idea. But, the more I look at Autumn and see how worried she is about him, the more I decide that perhaps I should help.

“Hun, I have a spare room, as you know, and I can easily put my art stuff elsewhere for a little while to give him somewhere to stay for awhile.” I told her, half hoping she wouldn’t take me up on my offer.

“Oh, Fel, that is wonderful of you to offer! I’ll text him right now and tell him! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Have I told you that you’re the best lately?” She smiled brightly.

“Not since Tuesday, so I think you were overdue.” I smiled warmly back at her. Well, so much for starting small, I thought, stuffing more French toast in my mouth.

 

 

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