My friend Lesley did this a little bit ago and I liked the idea, so I am going to do the same thing. This is my 2012 in review…..
It wasn’t too eventful of a month. I was still working at T.J. Grinding, was offered a full time position in August of 2011 and still living in Waukesha. (I’d been a temp there since March 14th, 2011.) Life was pretty much the same as it had been for awhile. I did meet Doug then, but little did I know the role he would one day play in my life. At that time, I barely acknowledged him because he was so quiet and I just didn’t know what to say to him. I was still confused about where things were headed with Jesse and I. He had just moved back to Wisconsin and everything was up in the air. I was also confused about Rick. I had strong feelings for two men, neither of which wanted anything serious. It seemed that was the story of my life. *laughs*
Nothing much to report here either, still had the same job and still lived at the same place, same ole, same ole lol. I spent time with friends, as I always did and got to spend time with Zach, every other weekend, as I normally do….but it was feeling kind of….stale. Valentines Day came and went with me alone, as usual. But, I decided years earlier to just make it a day about love in general. I like to show all that I love my gratitude and appreciation, but not just on that day….but all year long. Oh, I did get my new car. The Mazda died out finally. So, here I am with a 2007 Chevy Impala….nice. 😉
Jesse and I got back together for the third and final time. At the beginning, it all finally seemed like it was going to work out for us. He had just gotten a decent job and was finally getting back to where he wanted to be. That was the main thing he said was holding him back from us being together. I was so excited. I’d dedicated a lot of time and energy to him, to us. Rick was hurt, but I had to follow my heart and see where it led me. It didn’t take long before it went back to the same old pattern of being ignored and let down. We talked and mutually decided it was just best for us to be friends because he just didn’t want to be in a serious relationship. Other than that, still same ole, same ole lol. Life stayed like that for a bit yet….
Same ole, until the end of the month. I still had the same job, same place to live, etc etc. I was still trying to sort out my heart. At the end of the month, I was given a notice from my landlord that my rent was going up $156 starting in June. I then began to freak out….what on earth was I going to do????
I was scrambling to figure out my living situation. In the end, Zach’s dad agreed to suspend child support payments by way of giving me the debit card my money goes onto until January of 2013, figuring that would be plenty of time for me to get things situated. The other thing was that I have to go to Fond du Lac to meet up with Jason on Sundays. Hey, whatever, that was a huge help to me. When I budgeted my money for my car payment, I just didn’t budget in any extra money, so yeah that was a bind until Jason agreed to help. So at the end of May, I knew I could stay where I was.
I was getting increasingly worried about my grandma and wasn’t sure what to do about it. The house was beyond a disaster, neither my uncle or she were taking care of things. But, for that month, I kept quiet still. I went about my business as usual. Same job, same home, etc etc.
I lost my job on the 9th. That day I revised my resume, started applying to jobs, reapplied for assistance, etc. I was getting even more worried about Grandma and finally said something to my mom. She agreed something needed to be done. So after agonizing on it for a little bit, the call was made to Social Services and the Department of Aging. My mom and I talked with them quite a bit. July 23rd, they met with Mom and Grandma. That day, she was forced to go to the hospital because her blood pressure was so high. She had to stay there for about five days. In that time, I called the city and they came to inspect the house, locked it up, and they’d given us a month to get things situated. Once Grandma was released, she temporarily went into an assisted living place, but then my aunt and uncle in Minnesota said they’d look after her while we worked on the house. It was also decided after some talking that when this was done that I would be moving in to take care of Grandma and Lyle needed to find somewhere else to stay because the two of them just enable one another to buy stuff they don’t need, clutter, and mess up the house. Jesse and I had a big blow out and it was then that I began to realize that perhaps I needed to move on. Rick and I seemed to be getting closer. It was one heck of a month.
I took Grandma to Minnesota and then the house project truly began. It was a nightmare. Mom, Uncle Lyle, Lyle, Jim, Bill, Jessy, & I were there the first day. The guys got the furniture out of the livingroom and Grandma’s bed out. We started throwing stuff out, just anything and everything that wasn’t needed. My friends and I started talking about forming a bowling team for fall. Doug had taken a break from the group at one point and had recently rejoined. This was when I really started talking to him, getting to know him. It was a very frustrating, but interesting month. I was looking for work, but not that hard because I thought I would be able to take care of Grandma and get paid to do so. I thought I had it all figured it all out.
Still working on the house, looking harder for work because I realized Grandma made too much money for most of the programs and the ones that would help were saying they’d be taking about half of her income and I couldn’t do that to her. Work on the house continued. It was mostly Mom and I, with some help from Uncle Lyle and Joni too. Bowling league started. I gave up on both Jesse and Rick for good, realized neither of them were the one for me. Doug and I were becoming very good friends and very quickly. He was an amazing support system for me with all that was going on. My feelings for him were changing and quickly as well. I thought perhaps he felt something too and decided to say something…but the initial talk didn’t go as I’d hoped, I was confused and hurt. I wasn’t giving up though….
Doug and I shared our first kiss on the 4th, had our first date on the 11th, and then on the 16th, we officially became a couple. Less than a week later, he was helping me pack and then helped me move into Grandma’s house. We’d finally gotten the okay to live there after getting some repairs done, some of which were thanks to my buddies Joel and Drew. I was situated for a day and then Mom went to Minnesota to get Grandma. Three months to the day from the day she was admitted into the hospital and this whole mess began, she was home. I left Waukesha behind me and a new leg of my journey had began.
My son’s birthday was a huge success. I wanted to make it extra special because I hadn’t gotten to celebrate his actual birthday with him in quite awhile. He had a bowling birthday party and really seemed to enjoy himself. Things seemed to be going fairly well. Thanksgiving was great with Tony, Nikki, Grandma, & Uncle Lyle. I picked Zach up for the weekend the next day. But then, right after the holiday weekened was over, Grandma had a stroke. As it turned out, she’d had others and no one knew, not even her. The hospital took good care of her and after a few days, she was able to come home as long as she agreed to use a cane or walker. It made things so much more difficult, but I wasn’t giving up on making this work. With Doug, things still going great and happier than I’ve ever been. He again, was a great support system, though I then needed to be there for him when he lost his mom. 😦 We both realized just how much we’d need one another.
Here it is, nearly over. It’s been rough with Grandma, but been hanging in there. I have been on a few interviews, hoping to have a job soon. My birthday was amazing, perhaps the best yet. Christmas was hectic, but also wonderful with the many celebrations I was a part of. I got to see my son, step-mom, siblings, Mom, Grandma, Uncle, Doug, a lot of his family….on two different occasions, Joe, Laura, Hali, Ma, CM, & Paws. My kiddo is actually here until New Year’s Day. On Sunday, I get to have dinner and see T.S.O. with Doug, it’s my birthday present. New Year’s Eve….hanging out with the kid, Doug and I are taking Zach to see The Hobbit, and probably gorging on pizza. When he goes to bed and Grandma is in bed for the night, I get to ring in the new year with just Doug. I am excited for that. I am actually pretty excited for 2013. I have a feeling it’s going to be a great year.