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Archive for November, 2012

How it all began

I originally wrote this for a writing challenge on wiffledust. Hey, any writers out there, feel free to join the site and share your creativity with the rest of us!!! Anyway, so after re-reading it, I thought perhaps I’d like to share this with the rest of the world. This is the story of how things began between my boyfriend and I. I hope you enjoy reading this!!

One of the best experiences in the month of October happened to me this year. What led up to the greatest October of my existence began this summer. I guess it actually began in January. But the heart of this story began in August and that is where I will start. 


I had known Doug since January, but until summer arrived, we’d barely talked. There was actually a period of time when none of us saw him for awhile. But, when he reappeared in our lives, things began to change. He and I started talking on our own, apart from the group of friends that we’d shared. Upon getting to know him, I began to see what a great person he really is. In fact, the more time that passed, I realized he was becoming my best friend. It was all happening so quickly. He went from acquaintance to friend to best friend to the man I was falling in love with.


I didn’t know how he felt about me though. A couple of friends had said they saw a connection there and it was something I had noticed when he and I hung out, but I was still scared. One night while chatting online, I got brave enough to ask him how he felt and to tell him how I felt. He admitted to having feelings for me, but thought that we’d be better suited as friends. I was so hurt and so confused. I thought, “How could I be so wrong? I really thought it was going somewhere.” 


A day later, he asked me to go to the last Brewers game of the season, said they’d been his sister’s tickets and that they couldn’t go. So he, two of our friends, and myself went to the game a couple of days later. He picked me up and we went to a bar that had a shuttle to the stadium to wait for our friends to show up. You could cut the tension with a knife that evening. We were having a good time, but fighting the chemistry on both sides was awkward. Even after the game and we all sat at the bar again, eating and talking, it was fun, but weird. He took me home, walked me to the door, and then we hugged. I so wanted to kiss him that night, but was so scared and I sensed that maybe he felt the same.


So, the next day, I asked him to come by and watch movies with me. He agreed and for awhile that night, it was still so awkward. During the first movie, we’d move closer to one another and then he’d move away just a little. That process ended sometime during the second movie. At that point, we were sitting so close that we were nearly on one another’s lap and it felt so weird being so close and yet feeling so far away. At some point, I was looking at his hand and noticed how red it was. I touched his hand and made a comment about that and about how warm his skin was. Then I leaned into him a little bit and he then put his arm around me. I swear I felt like I was 16 and had never experienced any of this in my life. We adjusted our positions a few times and eventually, I was so close to his face that I could feel his warm breath on my own face. I was so nervous. I wanted this, I had wanted it for awhile to be totally honest.


Maybe 10 minutes before the end of the second movie, which was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, we finally looked right at each other and then we leaned in toward one another. I had one hand on his face and I closed my eyes. The kiss I’d been anticipating for awhile finally happened. And then we kept kissing. After awhile, I had to send him home because we both had a lot to do the next day. I was so giddy and lightheaded. Again, I was taken back to my teenage years. I hadn’t felt like this ever, not even back when I had my first kiss. It was a euphoric feeling, one I still have. October 4th is a day etched into my mind even still.


And October 11th was our first official date. I made a Velveeta chicken alfredo mix. It was a first, but I did well. After that, we went to see Trouble with the Curve, a Clint Eastwood movie. It was a great movie, I recommend watching it. He then walked me to the door, as he always does in his gentlemen style way. He came into hang out for a little while and then again, sent him on his way so he could get sleep for work and I could take care of my own responsibilities. It was a wonderful evening, one that again is etched into my mind.


October 16th is when he asked me to make it official, to become boyfriend and girlfriend. He seemed nervous and it was so cute. He was holding my hand while we were in the car after bowling league and he said, “So, do you want to make it official?” Of course I said yes. 😉


Since then, we have helped each other through a lot. He helped me move, alone. But, we proved we’re a good team. And then my time to help him came when his mom died a week ago and he needed me to be his rock. We make one another laugh and smile. He inspires me to go after my dreams and to do more. We finish one another’s sentences and often think the same thing. It’s only been a few months since our story really began, but it feels like I have known him for a lifetime. Being with him feels right, natural. I have never been this happy, felt this cherished or respected. He is my love and my best friend. In this aspect of my life, I am right where I want to be, where I belong.

Alright, time for an update

I see that I haven’t written in awhile and figured I should fix that. I have had a lot going on and well, here I am to let everyone know what’s been going on. So, here we go….

First and foremost, the house project is done. Well, it’s done as far as the required stuff needs to be. The city told us we could move back in and then came by the next week just to see if it looked like a home and when she saw that it did, she signed off on it. So, we’re done, like officially done and it feels GREAT! Three months to the day we contacted social services to get help for my grandma, she came home. I moved in a couple of days before, but wasn’t sleeping here till she was home because we needed to have the heat turned on and such. I have to thank my awesome boyfriend for helping me move and start to unpack. We got a lot done in such a short amount of time, stuff that wouldn’t have gotten done without him. 🙂 Yes, I will touch on that topic in a moment. 😉 So. Yep, my grandma and I are living in the house now. She is happy to be back from MN, to be in her own home again. It’s a little frustrating sometimes because she doesn’t always want to work with me on what she needs to do, but we’ll get through it lol. I am happy to be out of Waukesha. This is a new start for me, my son, and I think it’s going to benefit everyone, including Grandma. I feel good about it right now. I know we will drive each other nuts, we already are lol, but we will get through it together. So, one chapter is done and now another one is beginning…..

Well, I told you I would get back to the subject of my boyfriend, so let’s just do that shall we? 😉 It’s been an interesting road for the two of us, how we met in the first place and then us becoming friends on our own, apart from the group…..and then finally getting together. I have to say that since he and I started really talking and getting to know each other is when things really started to turn around for me emotionally. I have often said one person should not make or break anyone and that the world shouldn’t revolve around any one person. The thing is, I am still me, with or without him and he is who is he with or without me. Yet, somehow I do feel more complete with him, like that missing piece to the puzzle I was searching for all of these years has been found. I have always wanted to find the one I could share my life with, be myself with and have him want the same with me. We know that we’re still ourselves, that we haven’t lost who we are as individuals, but we also know that we are as brilliant together as we are apart. I have been wanting to find my equal and the one who balances me out, not tips the scales too heavily on one side. And, scarily enough, I think I have found that. He keeps me grounded and I need that. We make each other laugh, smile, and we are often thinking the same thing at the same time. It’s actually kind of scary sometimes just how often we think alike. The lines of communication are always open and that is something I haven’t had a lot of luck with before, but I have to say I like that I can talk to him and he can talk to me. We tell each other what’s going on in our heads and that’s nice. I have never been so happy before, never been with anyone who makes me feel like it’s okay to be me. He doesn’t judge me, put me down, pick fights with me, or blow me off. He knows I am needy often and is okay with that. And, he makes me feel giddy, just by text messaging me to see how my day was. When I am with him, I feel like a girl in high school. I get so nervous sometimes lol. It hasn’t been that long since he and I have gotten close and yet, it feels like we have been for a long time. Right now, we’re taking things as they happen, neither one rushing the other, and always trying to be on the same page. I really like where things are headed and I am just soaking up each moment. 🙂 He has become my best friend and my love at the same time. I have never felt like this before and I like it. Who knows for sure where this will go, but I am excited to find out.

Other than that, well, I am still job hunting. I have faith that God will help me find the right job at the right time. Everything else has been falling into place and well, He has NEVER let me down before. Sometimes things don’t work out until the last moment, just when you wonder how things will be alright again and then BAM, stuff works out. God is GOOD! I know things will pan out the way that they’re supposed to, when they’re supposed to. My faith in Him has gotten me through some pretty rough times. He never abandoned me and so I am not going to do that to Him. Until something pans out, I do have something to live on at least, again, He always makes sure I am provided for. I will be alright, I always am in the long run. I really do need to get my butt back into church, it’s just so hard to find one that isn’t all about the hype, what people wear, etc. I want to be somewhere that is truly about worshipping God, fellowshipping with one another, and helping their fellow man. Perhaps I need to reach out to Jason and his wife Kelsey, start going to that church again. I like that you can go to church there in your jeans and they don’t care because that is not what it’s about. Your heart needs to be focused on Him, not on what others wear, drive, etc. I do miss having others to really connect with on that level. I love all of my friends and family, but so many of them aren’t Christians. Most of them respect my beliefs, but yeah it’s hard not having a lot of people to pray with, worship with. Again, I am sure He will lead me in the right direction.

So yeah, life is going fairly well right now, just thought I’d let you all know what’s been going on. My kiddo turns 10 next weekend and we’re having a bowling birthday party. He’s dealing with some things right now, but all in all though, he’s doing alright. His fourth grade teacher told me she’s impressed by how intelligent he is, just that he needs to work on listening and following directions. He likes living in the house, is excited to be out of Waukesha as well. Heh, I have such a brilliant and charismatic son, hard to believe how fast he’s growing and how much of a young man he really is now. I hope his birthday party goes well. It’s his golden birthday, he’s hitting double digits, and this is the first year I have had him on his actual birthday since he was roughly four or five because either it’s been on a weekday and so he’s with his dad or it’s his dad’s weekend and so yeah, this is a huge thing for the both of us. I am excited! And I hope that as things pan out that things get easier for him. I just want my boy to have a happy and meaningful life. His dad does a good job in many ways, but I know Zach is struggling. Somehow things will get better for him and I will do what I can on my end to make sure that they do. Well. I suppose, that’s enough for now. So yep, all is on its way to being wonderful, well some things already are. 😉 And here’s to things getting even better…..

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