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Posts tagged ‘you’

Just Be You

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Don’t be a carbon copy of another, no matter how good they may appear to have it. You weren’t born to be someone else. You were beautifully made, wonderfully created to be you. So, do that…. Be you. That’s all for today, folks. Short, sweet, and to the point. Now, go and be the best you that you can be. Much love!

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Today You Are You, That Is Truer Than True….

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Dr. Seuss was a brilliant man. One of my most favorite quotes of his is, “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” He’s so very right. There is no one that is or ever will be more you than you, not even say an identical twin or perhaps even quintuplet. 😉 Don’t strive to be anyone else but you. You were made to be you and not anyone else. And no one can be you, no matter how hard they might try. Don’t try to steal someone else’s light, but don’t you dare let yourself fade into the shadows either! Shine your own bright light across the night’s sky. Know your own worth deep inside. Don’t rely on another to show you who you are. And know how very specially special you were made, unique and wonderful, it’s so very true. So go out there today, tomorrow, and every day after and be the best you that you can be, because there really is no one quite like you.

I AM ME….ah, BUT, WHO ARE YOU?

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Throughout life, we’re given many labels. I have had and currently have so many that I have lost count. I am known as many things to many people, such as….

I am Russell’s daughter, the daughter of an alcoholic and both town & family outcast. I am Danette’s daughter, the daughter of a mentally troubled woman, with a rough past. I am Mike, Matt, & Brenda’s sister and so much can be said about that. I am a Strahota and a Werth, though neither has even been my last name. I am Zach’s mother, the one both ridiculed and praised for my efforts. I am friend to many, foe to a few, and invisible to others. I am also known as Doug’s girlfriend, other half…the one who cooks, cleans, and tries to keep him organized. 😉 I have worn many hats, some not worn by choice and others I have gladly put upon my head. In the end though, it can be a little daunting. I don’t ever want to be so attached to any one person that I lose my identity. I don’t mind being many things to many people, but at the end of the day, I still want to be known as…me.

I am the girl that wears her heart on her sleeve, cries easily, loves to hug her family and friends, and will tell you without reservation how I feel. I am the one who is stubborn and set in her ways and yet tries to compromise whenever possible, partially because I hate to fight and like peace and also partially because I think it is good to meet in the middle, to both give and take. I am the who can usually be found carrying her camera, pen & paper, and thousands of thoughts in her purse. I am a writer, singer, lousy bowler on our team, dreamer, lover, and the one who will fight for what she believes in and stand up for those she loves. I am the the adviser, the cook, the neat freak, the bi-polar chick, the Harry Potter nut, the Hunger Games enthusiast, the Twilight nerd, the reader, the fast typist, the game teacher, the joker, the church goer and God believer, the cat lover, & the list keeps going.

I am part German, French, Irish, English, Native American, and Bohemian. I am mostly German and can’t drink beer, also I do not like brats or much else that is labeled as traditionally German cuisine. I cling to my Irish heritage, hey my favorite color is even green. 😉 The music is beautiful and how I dream of seeing the beauty of Ireland. I took french in school because I thought it sounded prettier and because of my heritage. I too would love to see France and partake in the food, see the tourist spots, and just gaze upon its ancient history. The English and Native American in me are two I have pride in and yet, they were at war with one another. I think good came from both, but wish they could have co-existed much better than they did. Bohemia no longer exists, but I was told that my grandfather’s family came from there many years ago and when they did, half of the brothers kept the C in Strachota and the others dropped it. Well, my grandfather was raised without the C in his, though I wonder how far back that all was…before he was born, but I am not sure how much before.

I am the curious one who wonders about just about everything. Why is the sky called the sky? Why is it called the color blue and why are colors called colors? What makes the clock tick? Let me take it apart to find out. What would life be like if we didn’t have to eat or sleep to survive? What would the world be like if no one ever sinned? What would it be like if we lived under water and instead couldn’t live on land? Why did my grandfather do the things he did? What was it like for my other grandfather when he was in the Navy? Why did my dad turn to alcohol? Will he ever tell me that he loves me? Why won’t my mom deal with the past? Why is her favorite color purple? Is she proud of me? Why does Doug love me so much? Why did Zach have to inherit my mental health issues? Why do people judge him so harshly? And what about me? Will my son turn out alright? What will become of me? What am I meant to do? Who am I really?

Some of those questions I will never be able to answer and some I know I will find out what I need and want to know. Some I think I can answer now, if I really chose to. The one I don’t really have to question is, who am I because there is no real way to answer that except to say simply this, I am me. There are many truths that can be stated, but none of them fully define me, they but give you pictures for you to view, to help you understand who I am. In the end, it’s just that I am me. I am difficult to handle, but really not so easy to understand, if you but have the patience to try. Do you have the patience and willingness to do so? And are you in turn willing to show me who you are, willing to let me into your gallery to see the many paintings, sculptures, and unfinished works that but only give me a glimpse into your identity? Might I hear your words, your songs, your thoughts, and your dreams? I will gladly share with you, no walls will I put up to hold you back, if you are but willing to let me in as well. I am me, do you want to know just who that is and let me ask, who are you?

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It starts with you!

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So often in life, many of us look to others to fill a void, to make them “complete”, to make them happy, to give them acceptance, to feel needed, to feel important. We want others to like us, trust us, respect us, believe in us, give us a purpose, to love us. What I have learned in the last year or so and I mean truly learned is that acceptance, respect, happiness, peace, and love must first come from within ourselves. I have heard the phrase, “One must first love themselves before another can truly love you.” and others like it for years and while on some level, I knew that to be true, I still, like so many yearned for others to accept and love me.

It is so easy today to look into a mirror, to dwell upon one’s thoughts, to look at society today and compare ourselves to others, and then find countless flaws. While it is true that no one is perfect, that we are all indeed flawed creatures, there is also so much about us that is wonderful. When one, like myself, has been put down for much of their life, it is easy to doubt, to have insecurities that surpass the amount of good traits we feel we have within us. It is so easy to break a person’s spirit down, so easy to break our trust, but it can take a lifetime to build it all back up.

So, on a side note, I will say this….watch what you say and do to others for it can have a lasting impact that you may never even see. Telling fat jokes, laughing at a stranger for their appearance, etc really can tear another down and the path back to confidence is usually a daunting one. You don’t want to be picked on or laughed at, so do watch how you treat others. That saying, “Do unto others as you’d have done unto you.” really hits home. I see such horrid behavior displayed towards others and sadly, the worst of it isn’t found on the playground. Such cruelty is often practiced by adults who ought to “know better.” I suppose though such attitudes people have are often taught and nurtured from childhood, as is compassion, love, respect, and so on. What we learn as children often carries on into adulthood, habits can be broken, but it is hard. So, we ought to watch what we teach our kids too, not just what we tell them to do….but also what we say when they think we’re not listening and also our actions speak volumes as well. Teach, promote, and live kindness, peace, and love so that others may follow in that path!

Anyway, back to my original message. 😉 We all want peace within us, but that peace must come from ourselves. No one else can give that to us. People can encourage us left and right, but unless we believe in ourselves, it will never really matter what another thinks of us. We have to battle the inner demons within us and see the goodness. Look in the mirror and see the beauty that God made. Even if you don’t believe in God like I do, surely you must still know how wonderful the human body is, how amazing, how intricate. We’re not destined to look like another, unless you’re an identical twin *smirks*, so why do we so often feel like we’re not good enough unless we look more like so and so? We come in various shapes, sizes, and colors. We’re all beautiful! But, reading this will not convince you of that if you don’t already see your own beauty for yourself. 😉

If you want to succeed, you must work for it! Don’t wait for your dream life to be handed to you on a silver platter, get up, go out there, make connections, and do what you need to do to make an honest living. If you want to be a painter, then paint! If you want to be a writer, then write! If you want to sing, than sing! If you want to be a teacher, then teach! Work hard for what you want! If it is possible and it’s not happening, the only one to blame is yourself! We all hit roadblocks along the way throughout life, but circumstances don’t define us, what we do from there is what does! We all fall, but we must get back up, even when it’s painful to do so. Sometimes it seems as if it would be easier to stay on the cold ground and hate the world for our lives, for what has happened to us, easier to whine than it is to change, to get back up, to do what we need to do….but if we put in that hard work and we do what we must, the rewards for that prove to be worth it.

All I want to be and have in life starts with me. I can’t expect anyone of you to fix my past, to make things right, to give me what I seek. I must work hard and go after the life I want and I have been doing that. So, the same is true of each of you! Don’t expect anyone else to fix your past, to make things right, to give you what you seek! If you want to have a good life, you must work for it. Stop blaming your parents, an ex, your current significant other, your kids, your former classmates, co-workers, etc for your spot in life now. You are in charge of your future, so take charge of it, and make your life what you want it to be. Yesterday is gone, find a way to let it go, and move forward. The time is now and it starts with you!

Appreciating where you are….

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I was inspired by Evan‘s blog today. Sometimes it is hard to give yourself credit for where you currently are in life because we’re often too busy dwelling on where we want to be instead of where we are now, what we have already accomplished. I am so guilty of doing that, so busy focusing on what I haven’t yet achieved. I beat myself up too much mentally, so many of us do, perhaps without even realizing it. We can be our worst critics and find it hard to accept praise when we feel we could have done so much better or that we should be in a better place than where we are.

If you met up with my 16 year old self and asked me where I’d be when I am my current age of 34, I would have given you an answer like this: I’d have graduated college, be working a job I really love, be happily married, and have two or three kids. I’d be the soccer mom, taking her kids to their practices, still busy writing and maybe even have something published, be active in church and probably a member of the choir, and just have an overall busy and successful life.

If you’d asked me that same question when I was 25, I’d probably has said: I know I didn’t do it as early as I’d planned, but I will still be done with school, working a decent job, maybe happily married, at least happily dating a wonderful man who accepts my son, still writing and maybe have something published, and hopefully busy with music, church, etc.

If you’d asked me this when I was 30, I’d have said: I will either be done with school or at least nearly finished, be working a good job, losing hope on the happily ever after thing…but still hoping somehow though that I have found the right guy, working on my writing, be busy with church and music, hoping to have more time with my son, and just trying to do the best that I can.

Here I am now at 34, not exactly where I’d envisioned myself. I, for so long, berated myself as many other people did for not being successful, for not being like so many others in my family. This last year has changed a lot, not just my circumstances, but how I view myself, my past, my present, and my future. I may not have a degree, a husband, any of my writing published, and so on, BUT…I have accomplished quite a bit.

My 20-23 year old self was consumed with being accepted, hanging out with the wrong people, getting into trouble, and not being responsible. My 24-28 year old self was slowly getting her act together, but still had a long way to go. My 29-33 year old self was beginning to feel better about where I was headed. So, where am I now?

I am starting school, been accepted and everything, in April. Everything with my grandma since July of 2012 has been so trying and the old me would have given up a long time ago. I have had my moments of weakness, but I have pulled through. I have an amazing boyfriend, one whom I truly believe I will be marrying one day. He is amazing with my son, treats me with such respect and love, and is good to my friends and family. I am still writing and now sharing it with more people than I ever have before. I am connecting more with God than I have in a long time, keeping my faith alive…which has got me through so much. I am much braver when it comes to my music. I even auditioned for America’s Got Talent last year via YouTube. I didn’t get anywhere, but I did try.

I am bolder, more confident, more responsible, more comfortable with who I am, and am truly proud of all I have overcome and achieved. I may not be where I want to be, but I am a lot closer than I have ever been. I don’t see a failure when I look in the mirror anymore. I see someone who is trying, someone who is capable of doing such great things, someone who has already accomplished a great deal, someone who is worthy of respect, success, and love. It was a long road, I tripped, and fell many times along the way. Here I stand now, dust brushed off, and ready to keep moving forward.

Where will I be when I am 40 or even 35 when I have my birthday this year? I really couldn’t say. I have dreams and goals, which I will pursue. I will also though remember to live in the moment that is now. Where I am now is not bad and I must remember that. My wish for all of you is that you can do the same.

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