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Posts tagged ‘memories’

Holidays Aren’t On Tuesdays

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I was lying in bed, half awake this morning and thinking about our trash and recycling going out today. If there’s a holiday on our normal pick-up day, then they pick up the day before.

For some reason, my mind told me that there aren’t holidays on Tuesdays, thinking of Easter, Thanksgiving, etc. Though then I thought about Christmas, Fourth of July, etc and felt really silly. But, I thought my thought would make for a pretty cool blog title. Waste not! I just needed to figure out what I wanted to talk about.

Today’s date is memorable for a few reasons. As stated in my previous blog, today marks four years with WordPress. But, it signifies a couple other things as well.

Sixteen years ago today, I was in a car accident that nearly claimed my life. The circumstances were ones that could have been prevented. But, my friends and I made some stupid decisions and luckily, I can say we’re all still here living our lives. Lessons learned.

The last thing that makes today memorable is that my daughter, Claralynn turns three months. What an incredible three months it’s been, watching her grow and develop. I’m so blessed.

So today might not be a holiday, but it’s still a special day. People around the world are celebrating anniversaries, birthdays, promotions, new journies, and life in general. Though even without any “special” things going on, I still would say celebrate because you’re here, given another day to love and to live. So, make the most of it!

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Thank you!

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As of minutes ago, my blog now has 700 readers! In eight days alone, I gained 50 new friends! I’m so humbled by this and feel so thankful to able to share my thoughts, feelings, ideas, and writing with the WordPress community.

So many tell me I inspire them and I can’t tell you how good that feels. But let me say this, it’s not one sided. I’ve been inspired by hundreds upon hundreds of you as well, if not thousands. Your blogs teach me, give me great advice, give me hope, make me smile, and reach parts of my heart I didn’t know existed. Thank you for not only reading my blog and being a part of my journey, but for also allowing me to be a part of yours. Thank you. What a joy it’s been these last four years. I’m looking forward to many more, God willing, to write, inspire, learn, and grow. ♡♡♡

Life is….

Life

Life is many things to many people. Essentially, it’s what we’re given from the moment we are conceived. But, what it means to us is individualized; it’s personal. What is life to you?

To me, it’s many things…..

Life is being alive, giving, helping others, being kind, friendship, family, breathing, crying, laughter, passion, compassion, faith, beauty, heartache, struggles, sorrow, peace, prayer, art, music, adventure, loving, being loved, truth, lies, deception, the past, the present, the future, thoughts, dreams, ambitions, goals, hope, fear, pain, loss, gain, nature, appreciation, compromise, misunderstandings, fights, manipulations, victory, encouragement, cause, effect, food, nurturing, darkness, light, wondrous, haunting, grudges, forgiveness, emotional, real, and it is unique to each beholder.

Life is full of so much and to experience even half of what it has to offer is an incredible gift. It’s not always easy, but it’s a beautiful thing. To know the wonderful parts of it means one also has experienced the dark and depressing as well. I have wished, more than once, to not be able to feel anything, to be numb to it all, when going through particularly painful things. But, I am glad God never granted that request. Truthfully, I’d rather feel everything than nothing at all.

In my life, I have experienced so much incredible and horrifying things. When asked if I would change any part of my life, I have considered a few things I might. Not being molested or having had to be in the foster care system, yeah, that was at the top of my list. Having a better relationship with my parents and them having a better one with each other, it was right up there too. Mistakes I have made – lies, stealing, and some truly awful things, yeah I have sometimes wished I could take back the horrible things I’d done. Oh and let’s not forget about some of the poor choices I made when it came to friendships and dating! Save myself some heartache, oh you bet! There are so many bad things I’ve dreamed about “fixing”.

But then I’d think about it and realize what changing even one of those things could mean to my life as it is now. There are many wonderful people I wouldn’t have met, including my husband – which then means I wouldn’t have my daughter. If I hadn’t jumped in elbow first with my son’s dad, my amazing boy wouldn’t be here either. If I hadn’t signed those papers in 2005, would I have grown the way I did, the way I needed to? If I hadn’t been friends with the wrong people, would the right ones have come along? There are so many what ifs and questions I don’t want to think about. So when asked if I would change anything about my life, the honest answer is no. As painful as some parts of my life have been, it’s all led me to where and who I am now. The butterfly effect, well, it’s not something I wish to mess with. Instead, I am grateful for the life I have now and am excited to see what it will become in the days ahead.

What about you? Feedback? What are your opinions of life, what it is, what it means to to you, and would you dare to change anything about yours?

Things Our Kids Should Know

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I was thinking this morning about classes I had to take in high school and how very little of it I’ve used in my adult life and I weighed it against things I didn’t learn that I do use.

I think classes such as Algebra and Trigonometry should be replaced with Taxes & Budgeting, D.I.Y. Home Repairs (minor leaks in plumbing, how to unclog your toilet, how to weather proof your windows, etc), and Basic Car Repairs (oil changes, checking and filling the fluids, brakes, change a flat tire, etc). I think we should all know how to balance our budget, do our taxes, and do basic home and car repairs.

The generations are getting lazier as they go on. We have machines, applications, and expensive services to do our work for us and so we let them. I say it’s time to reintroduce good work ethic and the desire to learn and do things for ourselves to the younger generations. Stop teaching them things that they won’t need in their adult life and highly promote things they will need to know.

Furthermore, let us as parents stop encouraging laziness and activities that keep them glued to screens. Video games, surfing the net, and the like are fun and there’s nothing wrong with participating in things like that as long as they’re age appropriate and we have them spend time doing other things as well.

What happened to spending the day outside with their friends, going to the park, swimming, arts and crafts, learning to play an instrument, enjoying music, being a part of a sport’s team, camping, reading, telling stories, etc?

I am trying to instill a passion for the arts and for staying active in my teenage son’s life. He’s so consumed by video games, YouTube videos, etc and so are many his age. I’m trying to encourage time away from all of that and broadening his interests. I don’t want my son to think the world revolves around technology, even though it seems to. There’s so much more out there to experience!

I also want him to be well taught in how to do things he’s going to need to know when he’s on his own. Sadly, he won’t learn many of those skills in school, so I’ll teach him what I can, have him learn what he can from his dad and step parents, and hope that college and/or his trade/military will help push him further forward.

We are our kids first teachers. Let us guide and teach them well! Let us prepare them, as best as we can, for their lives apart from us. And may we spend as much time as we can enjoying our time with them and creating wonderful lifelong memories.

Let us give them roots, show them where they came from, instill manners and good values, and teach them valuable lessons to take with them into adulthood. And let us help them grow up to be people that believe in themselves, people that are courageous, bold, and ready to follow their dreams. Let us teach them how to fly out into the world on their own. And never may we fear that they’ll forget us. They can fly away, yes, but they can fly home too and even if they live far away as adults, hopefully we’ve taught them too that we’re where their home is also. ♡

Love & Marriage

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A friend of mine posted something on Facebook today and it really made me think. It was a link to what someone else wrote actually. It was about people doing more bragging about being engaged and their wedding plans than focusing on their relationship and why they’re getting married in the first place. Now the one who posted the link is engaged himself and he said he totally agrees with what this other person had to say. It touched also on people who spend more time bragging about their relationship in general than actually enjoying and maintaining it.

I have to say that I too agree with much of what was said in the article. I will admit that sometimes I talk up my boyfriend, but that is only because I do want the world to know how amazing he is. He puts up with me ha ha. Well that and I have been down some dark paths and to finally be where I am, I don’t mind if others know. I am not doing it to brag or show anyone up, but to let the people in my life know I am happy and also to give others who are where I used to be hope. I see so many wearing the shoes it took me so long to get rid of. I believe that if someone like me can find happiness and hold onto it, then it’s possible for everyone in my life that is searching for it to find it themselves. Skepticism is very understandable, been there myself, but that’s just it, because I have been there…I want others to know they’re not alone and also to know that real love and happy relationships do exist. But….there must be a line drawn. One doesn’t need to share every detail of their relationship with Facebook or anyone at all really. The relationship should still be about the two of you and not become everyone’s business.

And when it comes to love, engagements, marriages, etc….I think many have lost sight of what all of that means. First of all, people misuse the word love a lot. It’s gotten to the point that many don’t even view it as having meaning anymore. Too often, it gets said without even thinking about what it really means, how those they say it to feel about it. Love is such a powerful emotion, one that people use as a weapon or use as a means to getting what they want. It is something that should be treated with respect and care. If you really love someone, then by all means, say it. But let me add this….show it too. Words don’t mean anything if you can’t back them up with how you treat them. And please, if you don’t love them or you’re not sure how you feel, DON’T SAY IT! Don’t mess with someone’s heart that way. I, personally, do use the word love a lot, but I also mean it every single time I use it and do my best every day to show those in my life how special they are to me. I encourage more people to do that: Don’t waste time on pretenses, be honest, love, and let love in.

Engagements/weddings are supposed to be wonderful. When you’re engaged, it’s supposed to mean that you and the one you’re with have decided to spend the rest of your lives together. It’s a wonderful time in your life and you have the right to celebrate it. However, when it becomes more of a bragging fest, a cause to compete, and you’re spending more time posting on Facebook/Pinterest/etc than you are celebrating your love, cherishing the one you’re with, and working on keeping a happy and healthy relationship….well…you’ve then lost sight of why you got engaged in the first place. Something else about engagements that get to me is when people brag about the number of times they have been, seriously, like it’s something to brag about. That also means you have had how many failed relationships? People often, it seems, get engaged/married just to do it, to not be alone, to be cool, to brag, for the kids, etc and not because they’re madly in love with one another, ready to spend the rest of their lives with one another. I don’t think some realize at all what a real marriage is supposed to be. At the first sign of trouble, people are breaking up instead of working it out. Some people change their relationship status so often that it makes my head spin. Divorce/ending relationships are popular and it shouldn’t be that way. Some go into relationships/marriages now thinking, “Well, if it doesn’t work out, we can just break up/get a divorce, no big deal.” It’s really such a shame that many act like this. I know that there are a fair amount of people out there that know what a happy and long lasting relationship looks like and are able to maintain theirs, how to be a loyal friend, how to cherish life and not always be in competition with one another. So many have their priorities straight and know what they’re doing. But, sometimes it just seems like we’re the minority.

About the actual wedding itself, my feelings have changed over the years. When I was young, I wanted to have a big, fancy, expensive wedding. I wanted to be a princess for a day, no matter what it took. But the older I have gotten, the less I feel I need to have that happen. I still want my wedding to be beautiful and special, but not overpriced and overdone. I want it to be a day where my family and closest friends get together to celebrate our love, a day we remember for years to come, but I don’t want it to be the fancy stuff people remember. I want them to remember the joy, the love. Why spend so much on one day when you have a life ahead of you together to focus on? Save the thousands upon thousands of dollars on the wedding and use it on the future you two will share. Getting married isn’t or it shouldn’t be about the fancy/expensive dresses, big churches, caterers, dj’s, flowers, decorations, invitations, etc. It should be about marrying your best friend and showing the world how happy you are together, about going forward as a couple that is ready to face the world together, through the good and the bad. I know that within the next year I will be planning my own wedding and something both my boyfriend and I agreed on from the beginning is that we’d make it lovely, but simple. We want it to be memorable and happy, but we can do that without spending a fortune. Hey, if you have a lot of money or maybe your family is rich and wants to give you a fancy wedding…cool, but I still urge you not to lose sight of why you’re getting married in the first place. It’s not about how beautiful everything is….the ring, the dress, the hall, etc. Look at the one you’re about to marry and know that without a doubt that this is the one you want to grow old with. Know that you will disagree, go through hard times, face loss together, struggle with, and that it’s all going to be worth it. Know that this is the one who will wipe your tears, stick it out when you’re not easy to be with, but that they also are the one that makes you laugh even when you’re not up to laughing, gets your humor, makes you smile just by thinking of them, is your best friend, the one who will celebrate with you and encourage you, and will love you as you love them always. When you have found that person and you’re both ready….really ready, not just tired of waiting or think it’s the best you’ll do or that you should because of the kids or all of your friends are already married…..but truly ready….take that step, make that day beautiful, and fill it with more love than the money that is spent on it. True love is so precious, once you have it, don’t take it for granted and do your part to make it last.

On this day, Father’s Day…..

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I hope this day was amazing for all of you, no matter what your situation may be. Dads, step-dads, adoptive dads, foster dads, dads to be, men who long to be dads, dad type figures, single moms playing both roles, grandpas, uncles, god-fathers, and so on…..this day was to honor your hard work, sacrifices, and love for your children and families.

For me, I had many to think of today. I couldn’t be with them all, seeing as some have passed, some are too far away, etc. But, I was thinking of each of you. Thank you personally for your roles in my life. I love each of you. For my family/friends that are being honored today…know I am proud of each of you and hope that your day was amazing.

For the dads that have passed away, the children who have gone….your lights still shine and we honor you too today. On Father’s Day, knowing your dad isn’t here to be honored is an unbearable thing to deal with, watching others honor their dads when you can’t, not easy. Being a dad when your child(ren) have died can’t be an easy thing to deal with. I do sincerely hope that each of you have been surrounded by loved ones today.

Before today ends, I say this to each of you: God Bless, much love, and here’s to a great week ahead! Oh and don’t forget to show those in your life still with you how much you mean to them.

Thoughts on life, family, and other such things

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Life isn’t always beautiful, but it certainly has been quite a ride thus far. The rough times in life has made me appreciate the wonderful ones, made me realize just how strong and capable I really am. The wonderful moments remind me just how blessed I truly am. Today we went to a family reunion. Spending the time with my family certainly filled my heart with joy. I loved spending time with my family. There were people there that I haven’t seen in a very long time. There were some bittersweet moments as well, most especially when talking with my grandma. She’s not the same woman I remember growing up. She kept forgetting who I am and that was very difficult for me to deal with. However, I am glad that I got to spend time with her. My cousin Lisa said that we’re going to do this every year. I certainly hope that we’re able to arrange that because we don’t get to see one another that often. Each moment spent with my family, each member, is precious. I have another reunion next month, that time will be for another side of my family. I am excited for that one as well. I am most pleased that my son gets to see his family, get to know them, and spend time with them. He had fun today and looks forward to next month as much as I do. Family is important and it’s in times like these that remind me that petty differences aren’t important and we ought to cherish each moment that we have to be together. I feel the same way about my friends as well. They are the part of my family that I got to choose. Chosen or not, they are all special to me. I hope to remember to cherish them every day I have left on this planet. I want to make the most out of life, enjoy it, have fun, be successful, and spend time with those that I love that love me. I encourage you all to do the same….don’t waste your days being angry, spiteful, bitter, or holding onto the past. We all get angry, hurt, jealous, and find ourselves doing and saying things we shouldn’t….but one must bounce back from all of that and keep moving forward. I have to keep telling myself this every single day because yes, there are days it gets difficult to think happy thoughts. We all have really rough days, it’s an unfortunate part of life. I am not here to say that life is going to be all sunshine, kittens, your team winning the Super Bowl, or that fat bonus on your paycheck. However, I am here to say that when the tough times happen, you must find a way, no matter how difficult it might be to do so, to push through. Pray, talk to those you love and trust, listen to music, take a walk, scream, cry, sing, dance, write, draw, cook, or maybe just take a nap….something….but just get through, don’t give up and don’t let the negative win, no matter how much easier it might seem to do so. We have but this one life to live, don’t waste it, but make it wonderful, one worth remembering. ❤

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