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Posts tagged ‘marriage’

Happy Anniversary & Other Such Things

Today is my wedding anniversary!! First, I’ll say that it’s a day worth celebrating. Four years ago today, I pledged my everlasting love to my now hubby in front of God and many of our family members and friends. It was a beautiful day, both due it being one full of love and weather wise as well. Joyous definitely describes our wedding day.

Over the last four years since we said, I do, and even before then, we’ve faced a lot together. We’ve lost loved ones, faced financial issues, dealt with illnesses and injuries, and other things that have put strain on us. We’ve also laughed, enjoyed lots of time with friends and family, experienced great things, and created many amazing memories. Throughout the good and bad, here we are, still standing together. That’s what a team does, sticks together through it all.

So yes, for my hubby and I, today is definitely a day worth smiling about. It’s also my friend Ashley’s birthday. I remember telling her when the date was set that it fell on her birthday, wasn’t sure how she’d feel about it. She told me she was honored to share her special day with us. Yay! So today, I also say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ASHLEY!!! I hope today is full of joy and love for you, dear friend!!

I’m sure today is special for others as well. Others are likely celebrating their wedding anniversaries and birthdays. I am willing to wager that it’s also a day for signing paperwork to get keys to their new home, starting/started a new job, made a big move, started dating, stopped smoking, and more. Today is a day for many to smile and I’m happy to share in this joy with all of you.

Today is also likely a day that’s hard for some. Some lost people they love, lost jobs, got into a life changing car accident, found out they’re ill, and other heartbreaking things. My heart weeps for those that hurt today. I know that while we celebrate today, others aren’t, that others have reason to be sad. Life goes on around us, through the good and bad we face, others do their own thing.

Today too, my son has court for some poor decisions he’s made. It is hard to watch my brilliant son throw his future to the wind. He’s starting to see he wants so much and he needs to make some changes, but he’s still being stubborn, fighting it some. I hope he gets a wake-up call and starts to really fight for his future. May today end up being the beginning to a brighter future for him.

No matter what today is for you, I hope you find some joy. Even if today is sad, it brings hard times, may you find at least one reason to smile. If not, if it’s just too hard today, maybe tomorrow? My thoughts and prayers are with the world today, all who struggle, mourn, and worry. It’s also with those who laugh, smile, and celebrate. Whatever today is, at least it is. We’ve been given another day and that is cause to celebrate.

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Out With the Old, In With the New…..

2015

Well another year is gone and a new one has started. 2014 was quite the year. A lot of good and bad happened. Lost loved ones, car accidents, changed friendships, loss of a job and then a new job, an engagement, frustrations, sorrows, joys, laughter, and lots of love in 2014. Through it all, the good and bad, I have to say that overall 2014 was a fairly good year.

I am looking forward to 2015 though. I aim to get better at my job and learn as much as I can. There’s going to be many births to celebrate, including my son’s 13th. My kiddo will become a teenager, even closer to leaving childhood behind. I am excited to see where he goes from here. He’s so talented and intelligent. There’s no telling what he can do. And one of the biggest events that I am looking forward to is my wedding. In 135 days, I will become Mrs. Gray. I can hardly wait to marry my best friend and partner. I have waited for what feels like a lifetime to find my other half. It will be a day to celebrate. My handsome son will be dressed to the nines and will give me away. Family and friends will surround us so that we can share that wonderful occasion with those we love most.

There’s so much to celebrate in 2015. What a year this will be. I hope that 2015 is full of lots of laughter, joy, accomplished goals, dreams come true, wonderful memories made, and lots of love shared for all of you. I believe it will be whatever we want to make it. If we’re determined to have a good year, then I truly think it will be one. I am determined to make this the best year to date. Here’s to 2015 and making it amazing!

Our Love Story

our love story

I was walking down memory lane tonight. I feel like telling our story. January 13th, 2012 is when it all began. Though little did either of us know that we’d be where we are today. I first met Doug that cold January night at an A.D.O.B tour show. I didn’t give him much thought that first time I saw him. He was dating someone else and I wasn’t over an ex of mine. Neither of us were in a position to really consider one another anything more than friends, though truth be told, we were just acquaintances for several months. We talked a couple of times when our group was hanging out. I remember one conversation in particular actually. We talked for awhile about music. It was the first time I’d really talked to him. 

It wasn’t until the summer of 2012 that we really started getting to know one another. We started chatting in August and on the 30th is when we hung out for the first time, just the two of us. He knew I was in a rough spot and needed a friend, so he asked me if I wanted to hang out. Not once did he make a move on me. He was strictly my friend for a little while. It didn’t take me long to consider him a very good friend. He was someone I could talk to about anything, turn to if I was having a bad day, that could make me laugh, made me feel comfortable, and accepted me as I was. I realized a few weeks into hanging out and talking nearly every day that I was falling in love with him. It was as our friends predicted long before we were anything more than casual acquaintances, that we’d get along, that we’d be a good match. It seemed after awhile that maybe he had feelings for me too.

As it turns out, he did. Though when I first asked him how he felt and told him that I liked him, he wasn’t as enthused as I’d hoped. He did admit to liking me, but thought we’d be best suited as friends. I was so hurt and confused. That was on Sunday, September 30th. What an awkward conversation that was. But, then the next day, he asked me if I wanted to go to a Brewer game with him. His sister couldn’t use their tickets. So, he, myself, Petrina, & Joe went to the game on October 3rd. It felt like a date, with him picking me up, walking me to the door when he dropped me off, etc….except that it was a bit awkward. Our friends knew something was there between us and well, so did we….but something was keeping us from acting on our feelings.

On the 4th, feeling frustrated and confused, I decided to ask him to watch movies with me at my apartment after work. He accepted the offer and came over. It was still awkward for awhile, but eventually, he put his arm around me. We kissed later and from then on, that was that. (the 11th was our first date, courting me at that time I guess you’d consider it.) Even though we didn’t start officially dating until the 16th. He asked me out much the same way that he proposed to me, very nonchalantly, casual. Over the moon with happiness, I didn’t care that there wasn’t some grand romantic gesture. It was enough to know the feelings that were behind the question.

January 5th, 2013, he told me he loved me for the first time. The joy I felt in that moment still lives within me today and has been growing ever since. May 23rd, 2013, we moved in together. And then we just celebrated living together as a family for a year last month. What Zach, Doug, and I have is special, beautiful, and worth more than any amount of possessions. When Doug asked me if I wanted to get married on the 21st, (it was after Midnight after all.) not a doubt was in my mind that it was time. I’d been ready for awhile, well in many ways, to marry him. But looking back on everything, I am glad it’s now that he’s asked and not then. It’s given us time to grow, solidify our relationship, and make sure we were both ready. So, the next chapter will be written on Saturday, May 23rd, 2015 when we say I do and we become husband and wife. I am beyond elated to make what we have official in the eyes of God and the state, before our family and closest friends. I will walk beside you for the rest of my life, through the good and the bad. I love you.

Love & Marriage

Marriage-Quote-imperfect-people

A friend of mine posted something on Facebook today and it really made me think. It was a link to what someone else wrote actually. It was about people doing more bragging about being engaged and their wedding plans than focusing on their relationship and why they’re getting married in the first place. Now the one who posted the link is engaged himself and he said he totally agrees with what this other person had to say. It touched also on people who spend more time bragging about their relationship in general than actually enjoying and maintaining it.

I have to say that I too agree with much of what was said in the article. I will admit that sometimes I talk up my boyfriend, but that is only because I do want the world to know how amazing he is. He puts up with me ha ha. Well that and I have been down some dark paths and to finally be where I am, I don’t mind if others know. I am not doing it to brag or show anyone up, but to let the people in my life know I am happy and also to give others who are where I used to be hope. I see so many wearing the shoes it took me so long to get rid of. I believe that if someone like me can find happiness and hold onto it, then it’s possible for everyone in my life that is searching for it to find it themselves. Skepticism is very understandable, been there myself, but that’s just it, because I have been there…I want others to know they’re not alone and also to know that real love and happy relationships do exist. But….there must be a line drawn. One doesn’t need to share every detail of their relationship with Facebook or anyone at all really. The relationship should still be about the two of you and not become everyone’s business.

And when it comes to love, engagements, marriages, etc….I think many have lost sight of what all of that means. First of all, people misuse the word love a lot. It’s gotten to the point that many don’t even view it as having meaning anymore. Too often, it gets said without even thinking about what it really means, how those they say it to feel about it. Love is such a powerful emotion, one that people use as a weapon or use as a means to getting what they want. It is something that should be treated with respect and care. If you really love someone, then by all means, say it. But let me add this….show it too. Words don’t mean anything if you can’t back them up with how you treat them. And please, if you don’t love them or you’re not sure how you feel, DON’T SAY IT! Don’t mess with someone’s heart that way. I, personally, do use the word love a lot, but I also mean it every single time I use it and do my best every day to show those in my life how special they are to me. I encourage more people to do that: Don’t waste time on pretenses, be honest, love, and let love in.

Engagements/weddings are supposed to be wonderful. When you’re engaged, it’s supposed to mean that you and the one you’re with have decided to spend the rest of your lives together. It’s a wonderful time in your life and you have the right to celebrate it. However, when it becomes more of a bragging fest, a cause to compete, and you’re spending more time posting on Facebook/Pinterest/etc than you are celebrating your love, cherishing the one you’re with, and working on keeping a happy and healthy relationship….well…you’ve then lost sight of why you got engaged in the first place. Something else about engagements that get to me is when people brag about the number of times they have been, seriously, like it’s something to brag about. That also means you have had how many failed relationships? People often, it seems, get engaged/married just to do it, to not be alone, to be cool, to brag, for the kids, etc and not because they’re madly in love with one another, ready to spend the rest of their lives with one another. I don’t think some realize at all what a real marriage is supposed to be. At the first sign of trouble, people are breaking up instead of working it out. Some people change their relationship status so often that it makes my head spin. Divorce/ending relationships are popular and it shouldn’t be that way. Some go into relationships/marriages now thinking, “Well, if it doesn’t work out, we can just break up/get a divorce, no big deal.” It’s really such a shame that many act like this. I know that there are a fair amount of people out there that know what a happy and long lasting relationship looks like and are able to maintain theirs, how to be a loyal friend, how to cherish life and not always be in competition with one another. So many have their priorities straight and know what they’re doing. But, sometimes it just seems like we’re the minority.

About the actual wedding itself, my feelings have changed over the years. When I was young, I wanted to have a big, fancy, expensive wedding. I wanted to be a princess for a day, no matter what it took. But the older I have gotten, the less I feel I need to have that happen. I still want my wedding to be beautiful and special, but not overpriced and overdone. I want it to be a day where my family and closest friends get together to celebrate our love, a day we remember for years to come, but I don’t want it to be the fancy stuff people remember. I want them to remember the joy, the love. Why spend so much on one day when you have a life ahead of you together to focus on? Save the thousands upon thousands of dollars on the wedding and use it on the future you two will share. Getting married isn’t or it shouldn’t be about the fancy/expensive dresses, big churches, caterers, dj’s, flowers, decorations, invitations, etc. It should be about marrying your best friend and showing the world how happy you are together, about going forward as a couple that is ready to face the world together, through the good and the bad. I know that within the next year I will be planning my own wedding and something both my boyfriend and I agreed on from the beginning is that we’d make it lovely, but simple. We want it to be memorable and happy, but we can do that without spending a fortune. Hey, if you have a lot of money or maybe your family is rich and wants to give you a fancy wedding…cool, but I still urge you not to lose sight of why you’re getting married in the first place. It’s not about how beautiful everything is….the ring, the dress, the hall, etc. Look at the one you’re about to marry and know that without a doubt that this is the one you want to grow old with. Know that you will disagree, go through hard times, face loss together, struggle with, and that it’s all going to be worth it. Know that this is the one who will wipe your tears, stick it out when you’re not easy to be with, but that they also are the one that makes you laugh even when you’re not up to laughing, gets your humor, makes you smile just by thinking of them, is your best friend, the one who will celebrate with you and encourage you, and will love you as you love them always. When you have found that person and you’re both ready….really ready, not just tired of waiting or think it’s the best you’ll do or that you should because of the kids or all of your friends are already married…..but truly ready….take that step, make that day beautiful, and fill it with more love than the money that is spent on it. True love is so precious, once you have it, don’t take it for granted and do your part to make it last.

Finding Your Perfect Mate ;)

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We see the supposed criteria for the perfect or right man, woman, or sometimes just mate posted often on the internet. But something was made very clear to me just a moment ago via my weird thought process that I wanted to say to all who will read this, especially to those comparing their love to others and those that are single, trying to find their special someone. Yes, we ought to be treated with love and respect, give that very same to the one we love, and yes, true love does in fact exist. However, what makes someone the right one for you is unique to you. Some want romance, others not so much. Some are spontaneous and adventurous, while others are by the book and often predictable. Some are quiet and reserved, while others are chatty and making friends wherever they go. Some are good at remembering birthdays, anniversaries, and things like when your first kiss was, while others don’t have such good memories. The list of comparisons is endless, but I learned at church on Sunday that comparing people to other people isn’t such a healthy thing. We all have strengths, things that make us a good friend, mate, and person. We all have our talents. When two people work together and fit in such a way that’s right and when the love and commitment is there for both people, then it’s right for you. It might not be what your friend, sibling, parent, or next door neighbor would pick for you or be what they’d see working for them, but it’s not about what works for everyone else. You’re unique and so what works for you might seem off to others, but it will feel right to you. Don’t compare what you have or are searching for to what others have or tell you that you should want. Only you can truly know what works and who is right for you. ❤

The Small Things In Life….

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Life is often remembered by milestones such as one’s birth, baptism, big birthdays, graduations, engagements, marriages, having their own children, grandchildren, and of course one’s death. We put so much consideration into the “big” events that sometimes we forget about the “small” things.

I want to celebrate all of life’s joys, from the big to the small. Every hug, smile, laugh, song I sing, good meal, good book I read, snuggle time with my son, holding hands with the man I love, watching my pets sleep, and so much more are so important and deserve their own recognition.

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