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Posts tagged ‘living’

Grief Doesn’t Have a Time Limit

Grief

Some try to put a time limit on how long one is supposed to grieve the loss of a loved one. But, after having lost so many in my life, I have come to realize that there’s just no set time limit when one should be done hurting.

On May 2nd, 2016, a friend of 21 years passed away. She’d been hospitalized due to an error during multiple surgeries she was having done. For weeks, she lay in a medically induced coma and the prognosis was pretty bad for some time. Then, she began to improve and there was hope for all who had been worried. She woke up, was breathing on her own, and getting some of her spunk back.

But, then shock hit many of us on the morning of May 2nd. I checked my Facebook and saw a status about my friend passing away early that morning. My heart broke in a way it never had before. I’d lost family and friends, but no one I’d had quite the connection with like I did with her. She was once my family, when married to my cousin. That was how we’d met. We’d formed such a bond that even after she and my cousin divorced, her and I were still close. There was a time when we shared everything. She was my best friend for a long time. We hadn’t been super close in awhile, but we’d been reconnecting.

I still feel like she’s here with us sometimes, like she’s not really gone. It doesn’t help when I see her Facebook profile connected. But, it’s so much more than that. I try not to get super upset. I believe she’d want us all to keep living and loving. I feel that she’d understand remembering her and missing her, but that she wouldn’t want us to be frozen in sadness. She wouldn’t want us so paralyzed by our grief that we forgot how to live.

I believe that it is up to the living to honor the dead by continuing to live. We should keep their legacies alive by telling others about them and their lives. And too, what better way to honor them than by living in such a way that would make them proud? Grief can do so much damage and it can be life changing. But as hard as it might be to keep going some days, I believe that it is imperative that we do our best to try.

So, to my grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, in-laws, and friends that I have lost: I miss you, so very much. A part of me died with you when you left. But, I am committed to living the best possible life that I can while I am being given that chance, to loving those who are still here. May I honor your memories, may I make you proud by living in such a way that would make you smile. I love you, more than you know and I always will. May that advice be something you take heart to and find ways to follow and may I do the same, remembering on tough days that I need to keep going. Let us not allow grief to overtake us, but let love instead ever propel us forward.

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Living life, gives me more to write about ;)

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This is my son, out at one of my favorite childhood parks today. Blogging has taken a backseat to a lot this weekend and I am alright with that. Going out and living life just gives me more to write about. 😉 My son thoroughly enjoyed himself today. He got to play with another boy who was there, ran around with Doug & I, and just enjoyed the nice weather. I am hoping it helps him sleep tonight. 😉 It was a great day, as were the two days before when we were outdoors. It has felt nice being able to welcome Spring back to Wisconsin.

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This is the love of my life, Doug. Watching him play with my son today made me smile. We all enjoyed the walk to the park, running around playing Zach’s battle game, taking turns in the tire swing, and interacting with the other family that was there.

Tomorrow is Easter, I won’t be on here at all and so, I wish you all here a very Happy Easter. I hope it’s filled with much joy and laughter. I will be spending time with my mom, grandma, uncle, and son. I will also be giving much thanks to Jesus for all He did. When I think about His great sacrifice, it humbles me. It breaks my heart too, that such an act ever had to happen. I will also thank Him for the many blessings, including such wonderful people He’s brought into my life…this includes all of you on WordPress. You enrich my life in ways I never thought possible. Thank you again for the inspiration and for being a part of my journey. I love you.

My Reflection

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Who is this staring at me?

I don’t recognize the face I see

Time has changed so much

The way I smile, laugh, and touch

 

Deep within, I’m still the same

My faith, my heart, my name

One’s core can remain in tact

So much else changes, that’s a fact

 

My nature has always been to love

That was instilled in my soul from above

The way that I show it now has grown

In ways that are well known

 

When I forget who I am inside

And stress leaves me feeling a little fried

I find my way back by quieting my mind

Slowing my thoughts so that I can unwind

 

I then turn to You

You help me through

Each storm that within me rages

Each hurdle I face, You see me through in stages

 

I must grow, must learn

If the rain didn’t soak me, if the fire didn’t burn

I’d remain a child in an adult’s skin

Trials I had to face so that the growing could begin

 

Mistakes were made and sorrows known

But through them, I have flown

Stronger, kinder, and wiser am I

And this will continue to happen by and by

 

I believe that the day I am done growing

Is the day that I am done living

As my reflection changes from day to day

May I still see the core of who I am, I pray

 

No matter how I change throughout the years

May I never let win my sorrows, doubts, or fears

Instead let hope, faith, joy, and love win out

The way of light and laughter is my route

 

I grab my reflection’s hand

We skip through time across the sand

Making the most of life

Pushing past all hurt and strife

 

Loving those who are here while I have the chance

Taking a chance too on my dreams, desires, and romance

As my reflection learns, she grows

That’s just how the story goes

 

Life comes and eventually it fades away

But that doesn’t mean it can’t somehow stay

So I choose to let my legacy live on

To not be forgotten even well after my time here is gone

 

One day you won’t see my face

I will have gone to a better place

My final reflection, what will she look like to you?

I hope that it will be one that you find to be loving and true.

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