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Posts tagged ‘legacy’

Maybe

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When the life of someone you love slips away, your first reaction may be to shut down. Maybe you cry your eyes out. Maybe you feel hopeless and helpless. Maybe you hold your child extra tight. Maybe you say extra prayers. Maybe you wonder why. Maybe you try to be grateful for a life that is still yours. Maybe the emotional part of your brain aches in ways you can’t explain. Maybe you wish things were different. Maybe you feel guilty for still being here. Maybe a part of you is thankful for all you have. Maybe you are confused. Maybe you are torn. Maybe you are just trying to find a way to push forward. There is just so much loss, heartache, and pain. But, we have to keep going while it’s our time to be and maybe we need to find ways to help others do the same. Maybe. Maybe.

Rest in peace, my dear friend, Latasha Greer. You will live on through your girls, your husband, and all else who love you. You changed our lives and touched our hearts. For that, you’ll never be forgotten.

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What’s in a Name?

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How did you come up with your children’s names? I’m curious to know! My son’s first name is a biblical name that means, Remembered by the Lord and I thought would be encouraging throughout his life and I also love the name, just the sound of saying it makes me smile. His middle name is also biblical, but I chose it simply because I like it. Zachariah Matthias suits him, I think. 🙂 Claralynn is a combination of two names. Clara was my grandma’s name, my dad’s mom. She passed away last September. She was a light for many and not just in our family, but in the community and at church as well. I didn’t know her well, but others told me about her through the years. Lynn was Doug’s mom’s middle name. I never met her, as she passed away a month after we’d started dating and I hadn’t met anyone in his family yet. But, I’ve heard so much about her and just by knowing my husband, his sisters, her siblings, her parents, and Phil, I can really see how wonderful she was, how she’d touched so many people. I wanted to honor both of these incredible women. Her middle name is Marie and that is both my mother’s and mine as well. I wanted to give her a piece of both of us as well. So again, what inspired your children’s names? ♡ And hey, pet parents, feel free to chime in also. They’re your kids too! Onyx came to me when I was in the pet store. Black as Midnight, but I wanted his name to be a bit more unique, just as I did for my son and daughter. ♡

We Are Works of Art

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All that I am & all that you are is poetry

We are works of art for all to see

The way we move, the way our minds operate

What wonders we think of & create

 

God is the great creator, the one who designed us

How we wove us together, all the angels made such a fuss

How like He, we have been wonderfully made

In awe they stood, at the works of art He had displayed

 

He watches us as move about the great canvas called life

Celebrating with us our successes & helping us through strife

How do your words flow upon the pages of your individual story?

What you create leaves behind long lasting memories

 

I hope that upon my pages, you see beautiful works of art

Wondrous colors amidst descriptive words that capture your heart

May my life tell of heartbreak & sorrow, but also triumph & love

Let it inspire you & show you the one who loves us from up above

 

As we go through life, let us never truly cease to be

Let the lives we lead now leave behind beautiful legacies

Upon the book of your life, let your true character shine through

Be bold & brilliant and let love shine through in all you do

Time is fleeting and so very precious

Today is my paternal grandmother’s 83rd birthday. She lives out of town and I am unable to be there at her celebration, along with a few others who live out of town and some who live in another state. I wish I could be there. I barely know her. I met her, my dad, etc when I was 10. I lost my grandpa when I was 14 and it deeply saddened me because I barely knew him. I want more from my relationship with her. This past Christmas is the very first time I ever got presents from her. I will tell you this, the hat and pillow she made for me are more special than any store bought gift, as is the blanket my mom made me. Presents made by hand, made with love touch me in ways I can’t express with words.

I saw my grandma in October, at my cousin’s wedding. She is in a wheelchair now. Family members had to get her out of it and onto a regular chair for pictures. It was so hard to see her like that. She’s in a home and has been for a little while now. Seeing the generations before you age isn’t an easy thing to take. The grandma I live with and take care of is a prime example of just that. Both of these fine women were once vital, competent, independent, and women who you didn’t want to piss off. 😉 Seeing one in a wheelchair now and the other needs a walker, it breaks me. I know it’s a part of life. Those of us who live long enough will go through many changes, one that are not only hard for those around them to watch, but to deal with themselves.

I complain sometimes about cleaning up after Grandma’s spills or yell at her when she doesn’t use her walker and then has balance problems, forgetting how very hard all of this is on her. I am 34 and while that’s not old, I have changed physically. I suffer from arthritis, migraines, back problems, etc and it’s so hard some days. So imagine then how my grandmas must feel. To know you can’t get around the way you once did, to need help with so many every day tasks has to hurt in ways I can’t imagine.

Time is fleeting and so very precious. We never know how long any of us has. I could die today or live to be 104. My son, my most precious gift from God, could leave me well before I am ready or hopefully he lives to be old, grey, and have a family of his own. I have already lost so many around me and am probably going to lose a lot more before my time is done. It’s hard to lose those we love and we wonder why they were taken from us. We get angry, go into a depression, and wonder how we’ll make it through. It’s most difficult when we lose a child, a parent, a spouse, a grandparent, a best friend….well anyone you’re deeply attached to really. Sometimes it stings just because you wished you’d known them better. In either case, death is not easy to deal with. It is inevitable though. There isn’t a rhyme or reason as to why and when many people leave us and it’s hard to accept, but the living needs to find a way to keep pushing on. We’re here for a reason.

While we are here, we must remember to cherish that time we’ve been given. It can be easy to take time and people for granted, we’re all guilty of it. I try so hard though to be grateful for still being here, for having so many still here whom I love, and for the fact that so many love me in return. I want to make the most of my life while I still have it. When my time on earth is done, I want to leave a legacy of love, laughter, joyous memories, and light behind me. My story will one day be over, but I want it to be read for years to come. Until it is time, I want to laugh, smile, learn, grow, feel, love, and just live.

I am going to fail, but it is how I handle those failures that will shape me and my future. Mistakes are just my next lessons in life. I can’t control a lot of what happens to me, but I can control what I do and say. Let my life be one that is worth remembering one day. I don’t know how many days I am to have left, but I don’t want to waste them. I urge you all to hug someone you love today, smile at a stranger, help a friend, create lasting memories, play a game with your child, take pictures and have the memories for later, say thanks for still being alive, go for a walk and enjoy the world around you, make love to your spouse, visit your grandparents, bake cookies, just do something positive. 😉 Make this day count, you may not be given another. ❤

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