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Posts tagged ‘holidays’

Holidays Aren’t On Tuesdays

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I was lying in bed, half awake this morning and thinking about our trash and recycling going out today. If there’s a holiday on our normal pick-up day, then they pick up the day before.

For some reason, my mind told me that there aren’t holidays on Tuesdays, thinking of Easter, Thanksgiving, etc. Though then I thought about Christmas, Fourth of July, etc and felt really silly. But, I thought my thought would make for a pretty cool blog title. Waste not! I just needed to figure out what I wanted to talk about.

Today’s date is memorable for a few reasons. As stated in my previous blog, today marks four years with WordPress. But, it signifies a couple other things as well.

Sixteen years ago today, I was in a car accident that nearly claimed my life. The circumstances were ones that could have been prevented. But, my friends and I made some stupid decisions and luckily, I can say we’re all still here living our lives. Lessons learned.

The last thing that makes today memorable is that my daughter, Claralynn turns three months. What an incredible three months it’s been, watching her grow and develop. I’m so blessed.

So today might not be a holiday, but it’s still a special day. People around the world are celebrating anniversaries, birthdays, promotions, new journies, and life in general. Though even without any “special” things going on, I still would say celebrate because you’re here, given another day to love and to live. So, make the most of it!

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The War on Valentine’s Day

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People have varying opinions about Valentine’s Day and Sweetest Day. Now that we have social media, those opinions are flooded all over the internet. One can’t possibly escape seeing them, unless they choose not to be online.

My own views about such days have changed over the years. I was once one who longed to have someone to celebrate it with and do the cute and romantic things. Usually, I was single and I tended to be bitter about it. The exception to that has been that I would still make it special for my son. Even though a lot of the ads and deals are about couples, those days aren’t only meant for couples to celebrate. It’s supposed to be about celebrating love in general.

My views later changed to feeling that it’s just another way for stores and restaurants to make money. I also felt that so many are just greedy and want another excuse to get more stuff. Whenever I would see someone brag about what their sweetheart did for them or complain because they didn’t do enough, I rolled my eyes. Shouldn’t love be about more than just what we can get from others? Is it really so superficial? Do we really need presents to show love to one another?

I still held onto that view, for the most part, even after I got together with my now husband. I am the hopeless romantic type, but I also felt that I didn’t need grand gestures to know how he felt about me and he most certainly didn’t expect them from me either. For the most part, I felt that the greatest gifts you can give or receive are time, energy, and love. Gifts are nice, but they’re not what’s most important.

While I still feel that way, I have also come to see that putting down those who wish to celebrate it isn’t a healthy way to look at things. Since days like these are supposed to be about celebrating those you love, how can I really tell someone they’re foolish for wanting to celebrate them? I think if you wish to do something nice for those you love, do it and don’t feel shame in doing so.

If you’re one that hates those days simply because you’re single and will feel ignored, I would urge you to remember an earlier point that I made, those days aren’t just about couples. You can still celebrate with friends and family as well and have them be meaningful. There were a few years when I was single that I did just that, bought candy and cute little things that didn’t cost much for people at work, my son, others in my family, and my friends. It’s not about how much you spend or if you even spend anything at all. You can make handmade cards and gifts if you want to do something nice. It’s about the thought behind the gifts, not the gifts themselves.

That is something some forget and I am still highly annoyed with those who feel they’re entitled to amazing gifts and trips for these or any occasions really. My opinion on that sort of attitude is to stop being a spoiled brat and remember what your relationship is really about. If you want to celebrate, great, but don’t make it a competition between you and your partner or you and your friends, who can give or get the better gifts. Attitudes like that tarnish any positive meaning behind the holidays to begin with.

My husband and I don’t personally do much to celebrate them, because we feel that we don’t need those days to tell or show our love for one another. We’ve gone out to dinner a couple of times, but that’s been more or less of an excuse to not cook and do dishes than it is to celebrate the holidays. Some years, I admit that I have gotten a few little things for him. (Though other years, I have done nothing.) I am, as I mentioned, the romantic type. I haven’t done anything out of obligation, but out of a desire to give. I do random things through the year as well, just because. That’s just who I am, a giver. But, it’s about a lot more than that. He’s not been one to buy me anything. Do I feel less loved because he doesn’t buy me flowers or shower me with gifts? No and that’s because he shows me daily that he loves me.

Every day, he tells me he loves me. He kisses me every morning before he leaves for work (or going anywhere without me, even the grocery store.) and at night before we go to bed. (and plenty in between) We hold hands when walking somewhere or even when driving sometimes. He rubs my back randomly and now lately with my pregnancy, he’s been rubbing my feet too. He cuddles with me, tells me I am beautiful, and does things like take care of the housework when I am sick or having a very bad day. He worries about me, encourages me, and believes in me. So yeah, sometimes when people brag about the flowers they got on their anniversary or their birthday, I feel a tinge of jealousy. I will say this though, it doesn’t last long because I remember all that he does and how much he cares. He just shows it in different ways than some do.

That, to me, is the key in relationships. Know your partner, your friend, or family member. Don’t expect them to be someone they’re not and find the ways they show their love and loyalty and then cherish those things they do instead of being upset about the ways that they don’t. If you’re the type that celebrates and wants to make a big deal about holidays and other important days, great. But, if your partner isn’t, learn to accept it. Do not try to change them and don’t let them try to change you either. Like I said, for me, sometimes I still do little things because I want to. I know he won’t, but that’s fine. In that way, we’re very different. But, we accept one another as is. If the love isn’t strong enough that it’s too much of an issue, than perhaps it’s not a relationship worth staying in, only you can figure that out. Know your priorities and know theirs and whether they match, whether the bond you share is going to make it through the times when you don’t agree.

All in all, I am going to sum it up this way, Valentine’s Day and the like are days in which we can ignore them or celebrate them. Whatever you decide is your choice and you’re not wrong for whichever side you land on, just don’t try to get others to agree with you. If you want to celebrate, go for it and make it a day to remember. If not and you wish to treat it as any other day, then just make it the best day possible, as we should strive for every single day. Just be respectful of how others feel. 🙂

Let Love Win

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It takes a lot of energy to both love and hate, but only love gives something wonderful back to you. It isn’t always easy to love someone and certainly not always easy to forgive either, but it is worth the effort made. This is something to remember every single day we live, not just during the holidays, but many more become receptive to this kind of thinking during this time of year. Good will and peace unto all men, let us give thanks, give back, and give to one another, and hey Merry Christmas! This time of year can also be an extremely easy time to be stressed because of the shopping hassles, finances struggling even more than usual, traveling and hosting issues, missing people who have passed away even more than we normally do, and so on….but I strongly urge each of you who reads this to remember the goodness that comes with this time of year and not just now, but all year round as well. Don’t let hate, anger, stress, and sadness win. Give love and too, let it in. ❤

What Are You Thankful For Today?

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On Facebook, I have been saying something I am thankful for each day for the entire month of November. It’s actually something I think we should do all year. I was thinking about how when a holiday rolls around, many get into the spirit, but then when it’s over, it’s back to “normal”. I wish “normal” was being thankful every single day, being in the giving spirit, wanting to help our fellow man (or woman teehee). Thanksgiving is upon us and so right now I see a lot of people focusing on that and some on Christmas too, though sadly it’s mostly on the food to buy and prepare, decorations, gifts, and so forth. Though there are also a number of people focused on the heart of those days as well. I am delighted to see a few other friends doing the same thing I am on Facebook. Sad thing is, Thanksgiving will end and the posts will stop, but why should they? Shouldn’t we find things to be thankful for everyday? Perhaps we don’t need to post about them, but at least perhaps take a moment to ourselves and say thank you for something. A thankful heart is a happier one, I think.

Religious or not, Christmas too becomes a stressful time for many because people are so consumed with having enough money to buy presents, figuring out what to get and for whom, having the house decorated, do we have the time off work requested, traveling worries, is our house ready for guests, and so on. I am of the Christian faith, so Christmas to me is largely about Christ. However, I don’t see a problem spending that time with loved ones and celebrating our love for one another as well. I think Christ compels us to do just that, that is how I honor my God. But, sometimes even I get so caught up in “what needs to be done” and lose sight of what I am really celebrating. It happens to a lot of us, sadly.

It is all too easy on Easter to get stressed about buying presents for the kids, figuring out good hiding spots, meal preparations, and so on. Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Veteran’s Day….we try to honor our country and those who have defended it….but when those days are over, again, back to “normal”. I don’t like what “normal” seems to be for our country as a whole. Individually, I can not and will not speak as to how people go about their lives. I am sure there are some very humble people who give thanks often for what they have and to those who have given them what they have. But, when I think about 9/11/2001 and how our country really came together…but then later when things had quieted down, our country went back to the way it was, I am saddened. Why does it take a national tragedy or a major holiday to trigger togetherness? Reflect on that for a moment.

Then there are days like Valentine’s Day, Sweetest Day, and the like that have people in a frenzy. We feel obligated to buy things for our loved ones and I don’t like that. What happened to showing our love for one another throughout the year? Sometimes we can be so compassionate, warm hearted, and really treat one another with respect and love. But then, there are times when we’re so selfish, cruel, and insensitive. *shakes head* I know I fall into all of the groups I complain about from time to time and that’s what’s harder for me to personally deal with. I resolve to be kinder and more often, not just when the calendar orders me to do so. I resolve to be more thankful and not take the people in my life for granted. I resolve to honor my country, my God, and my loved ones as often as possible. While I have time yet, I resolve to waste as little of it as possible. That is my wish for all I love, that you all will do the same. Let’s start right now. 🙂 I am indeed thankful for so much in my life, like for instance…all of you who read my blog and support my writing and support me as a friend. What are you thankful for today?

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