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Posts tagged ‘fear’

I Won’t Go Quietly, Good Sir…

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I’m part of a women’s bible study that focuses on Ruth and five habits of a woman that doesn’t quit. It’s definitely made an impact already.

I’ve been known to give up when nothing was working the way I wanted or before I even began if I thought there was a decent chance of failure. I don’t even know how many books I started that never got finished or how many opportunities I’ve missed out on due to fear or frustration.

Being a part of this group has really opened my eyes. I don’t want to be that person who shies away from remarkable chances anymore. Sometimes we have to take a risk to get to where we want to be. The greatest things in life are often gotten through hard work and risks taken.

Faith in Him and His plan isn’t always easy to have, in fact many times we’re challenged and feel unsure if He knows what He’s doing. But, it’s in those times when we need to draw nearer and trust that things will work out according to His great design. Trust in His plan may not come easy, but it’s always worth it.

It may appear that I’ve gotten off topic, but I assure you that faith and trust in His plan is part of what helps keep us from quitting. Left to my own devices, I’ve quit, failed, and messed up more times than I can count. When I let Him in and let Him guide me, no matter how great or difficult things may be, this is when things work out.

I’m a work in progress, we all are. Every day, every moment is another challenge, a chance to keep going or to quit. Every moment is a choice to trust Him or to go it alone. I won’t lie, I know my pride will get in the way and there will be times I think I can do it all alone. There will be things I quit, things I think I could never accomplish. But, my sincere hope is that I’ll continue to grow, learn, and do better.

There are many wonderful opportunities awaiting me, if I have the courage to go for it. With Him, they’re possible, I just have to remember and trust in that, in Him. One day, one moment at a time….but know this fear, I won’t go quietly. God is with me, so you may knock me over, but you will not keep me down.

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Even Positive Changes Can Be Scary

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In one week from today, we close on both the home we’re selling and then the one we’re buying. Overall, I’m over the moon happy about the next steps in our journey together as a family.

I don’t like the town we currently live in anymore. It’s gone downhill so much. It’s become the norm to see cops on our block and that’s disheartening. I don’t want my kids to get accustomed to this. I want better for them and for all of us.

Part of this move is about safety and wanting to live in a better community. But, part of it is also because our current home is too small for our growing family. We’ve just outgrown this place. All in all, it’s time for us to move.

And like I said, I’m fairly happy about this move. I’m ready to see what God has planned for us. It’s going to be a good thing for our family. But, yet a part of me is sad and a bit scared too.

We’re moving to a town I’m fairly unfamiliar with and sometimes the unknown can be a bit scary. Will we find a church we like? Will we fit in? Will we become isolated? Will my kids like it?Will they make friends, especially my teenage son? There’s so many questions and I don’t yet know those answers.

I’m also a little sad about leaving because we’ll be further away from some people we’re close to. It’ll be a little difficult for us, especially me. I’m very much a social being a lot of the time. I know we’ll see our friends again, but it’s going to get even harder than it already is since having our daughter. That will definitely be an adjustment that will take getting used to. And how will I go about making new connections?

Mostly, I’m happy, been counting down the days for awhile. And I’m sure everything will work out wonderfully, just getting a little more nervous the closer we get. But, the excitement does trump the fear. Alright, let’s do this….

A Mother’s Heart

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From the very beginning, something changes within

Feelings & emotions new & difficult to understand begin

As a tiny life begins to grow within, you begin to see

It’s not just about you anymore, it’s now mainly about that little baby

 

As your body changes & your hormones rage out of control

You still know that this life inside you is now a part of your soul

Rough nights, so little sleep, cravings, and wait that’s just the beginning

As the end draws near, your head is just spinning

 

The awaited day inches ever closer & then it finally arrives

As the pain takes over, you begin to wonder how you’ll survive

For some it’s just a few hours & for some, labor goes on for days

And then comes that moment that completely takes your breath away

 

After the doctor has done a quick look over & cleaned up your little one

Your baby is placed into your arms & now you see who has your heart won

Looking upon an angel’s face, touching their tiny hands & ever so little feet

Vowing from that moment on that you’ll protect them from all dangers they will meet

 

As they grow, each phase presents great challenges & wondrous blessings

There are moments when you want to scream, but moments too that make you sing

From the late night feedings to the terrible twos, and beyond

You also remember their first baseball game & helping them get ready for prom

 

It doesn’t matter whether your child is two or fourty-two

You know in your heart that there’s nothing you wouldn’t do

To see your son or daughter healthy, successful, & happy

The love within that you feel for them is easy for all to see

 

How truly magnificent it is that someone so small can mean so much

That teaches you the meaning of unconditional love from the very first touch

And while it’s never really easy to one day let them make their own fresh start

You know that no matter the distance, they’ll always know they’re in their mother’s heart

When Tears Fall

Heavy Downpour

When tears fall

Many assume that you’re upset

And while that is often times true

Tears can be shed out of happiness too

 

There are many reasons we cry

But many times, we don’t ask why

I have found one thing to be true

They come from intense emotions

 

“I laughed so hard that I cried.”

A saying I myself have demonstrated many times

Such joy erupting from my eyes

Oh what a feeling it is!

 

Fear has caused many tears over the years

When you think you’re about to die

Or lose someone you so well know

It’s astonishing the rate those tears flow

 

Babies, weddings, sappy movies, and the like

Yeah, they make me weep too

Or when someone says or does something to touch my heart

Oh how the waterworks start!

 

They have been caused by a deep anger as well

When someone offends you so

Heated words and tempers flared

The tears within are no longer snared

 

Tears have many stories to tell

If only we’re willing to listen well

It doesn’t make one weak to let your emotions go

If you feel it, it’s okay to show it

 

Some will judge, perhaps laugh

Maybe you were taught only the weak cry

Into your private life, your silence demands us not pry

Not all tears are visible on the outside

 

As the saying goes, to each their own

Though as for me, I do express how I feel

And who I am openly, for the world to see

I am not ashamed to be me

 

But to know me, you must pay attention

Listen well, but not only to my words

Hear what my actions say, one and all

So that you may know why my tears fall

Believe In Love

A jaded heart

One that’s been torn apart

Too many times to count

For the tears shed, there’s no known amount

 

A wall built sky high

To keep out every lie

Love is people’s foolish notions

Why bother going through the motions

 

You meet someone

They promise you the stars, the moon, the sun

Things seem to go well for awhile

They even convince you to walk down the aisle

 

Then with a mighty blow

Their true colors show

Bound now by a piece of paper and a ring

Doesn’t it now seem like such a silly thing?

 

Fighting day and night

Kids hear you from somewhere out of sight

Lawyers, battles, ugly times

Read this and heed these rhymes

 

Don’t give your heart away

For in the end, you’ll pay

Both figuratively and from your wallet

See your heart wandering, go and get it

 

And if you believe I meant any of this

Then you know nothing of my true feelings on wedded bliss

It can end badly, it’s true

But that’s up to the both of you

 

So many rush into things

Not knowing what the future brings

Led by hormones raging

Not knowing the wars their hearts are waging

 

Others settle for they feel it’s the best they can do

Not believing in themselves enough or in you

Fearing spending a lifetime alone

Not having someone to call their own

 

Some say they’re doing it for the kids

But in the end, the parents fight and take bids

So many do it for the wrong reason

Forgetting the true meaning of the season

 

I have seen it work out

My happy ending exists, of that there’s no doubt

I was once that girl with a jaded heart

The one who was so torn apart

 

But when I let love in

I saw a new life for me begin

Love can be true and last a lifetime

When nurtured forever, not just in its prime

 

I say this to all who are angry and blue

Who have given up on saying “I do.”

Love is not a waste of time, it is real

Don’t shut your heart down, let it feel

 

Sometimes we must go down broken roads

Before we find our prince or princess, we must kiss a few toads

Don’t give up, don’t lock your heart away

Let it find the love that is real, the one that will stay

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