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Posts tagged ‘encouragement’

A Letter to My Daughter

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Dear Clara,

You’re still so young, but there’s some things I think you should know. I write this letter with the hopes that when you read it, you’ll know how much I love you.

You are beautiful.

Can’t is only a limitation you set for yourself.

If you want it, claim it.

Treat others with respect.

Give, give freely, but don’t be a doormat.

Don’t abuse any power or influence you get.

Laugh, laugh a lot.

Dream.

Chase your dreams.

You most likely won’t need things like Algebra post high school, but I expect you to do your best in ALL of your classes.

You don’t NEED to be in a relationship to have a happy life, to feel complete.

However, there’s nothing wrong with being in a committed relationship, not if it brings you joy and it’s someone you love that loves you.

If you need to cry, do it. Trying to look strong when you’re hurting isn’t necessary. Crying helps.

Girls don’t have to like pink and frills. Guys can, without being gay and whether they are or not, I go back to the respect thing.

It doesn’t matter if someone is different than you. Their skin color, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, political views, etc may not match yours and that’s okay. People can be different and still get along.

I love you. I will always love you. I will be your biggest cheerleader.

Being your biggest cheerleader will not cause me to sugarcoat things when you need to know the truth or cover your butt when you’re in the wrong.

I cry, a lot. Not all of my tears are sad ones. When I’m proud of you, I’ll cry. When I’m scared, I’ll cry. When I’m really angry, I’ll cry. When I’m over the moon happy, I’ll cry. I’m not weak. Like I said above, if you need to cry, do it. Crying or showing emotions doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.

Did I say you’re beautiful? I did? Well, you are.

If you’re wrong, admit it.

If you need to apologize, do it, but only if you mean it.

Don’t let pride ruin relationships with those you love. It’s okay to apologize first, even if you don’t feel you were wrong or more in the wrong.

Like stated above, if you love someone, it’s okay to say it, but only say it if you mean it.

Words can heal or hurt, use them wisely.

Believe in yourself. No matter how much we may believe in you, it won’t hold nearly enough weight unless you believe it too.

Some people really suck. Some people are mean, beyond cruel. With that said, know that some people are really wonderful. Some people are loving and kind. Don’t give up on humanity, no matter how bad things get.

The world is huge, don’t let yourself get lost in it. Remember too that, one voice and one person can make a huge difference. So stand up for what you believe in.

And before I end this letter, once more, I loved you from the moment I knew I was pregnant. I loved you as you grew within me. I loved you the first time I held you. I loved you every time you threw up on me. I loved you every time you threw a tantrum. I loved you every time you curled up in my arms. I loved you every time you smiled at me. I loved you yesterday. I love you today. I will love you tomorrow. I will always love you.

No matter what life throws at you, me, your daddy, your brother, or any of us, you are my daughter. I love you. As big as the sky, for as long as the stars shine, I love you. You and Zach are my life.

Love,
Your mom

 

**picture I took at my son’s birthday party**

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Adjust Your Sails

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After all the posts I’ve seen today where people are putting themselves down, feeling not good enough, feeling ugly, and just not doing well, I feel compelled to say this….

God doesn’t make ugly. He doesn’t make mistakes. He made you. You are not ugly. You are not a mistake. You are worthy of love. You are meant for great things. You are in fact beautiful. You are wonderful.

Today might be bad for you. Maybe this whole year has been hard so far. But. You are not the bad things happening. You are meant to rise above. It may take time. You may hurt for awhile. That’s awful, if that’s the case, but sometimes we have those times when things are hard. This WILL pass though. You can get through. You are NOT alone. You are NOT your past, mistakes, grief, hard times, or doubts. You are more than any illness or label. You are someone of value that is meant to do and be great things. Keep believing that, each day that you can and when you find you can’t, I can remind you.

Let’s adjust those sails, ladies and gents. These storms aren’t meant to drown us, even though sometimes it may feel that way. Sometimes we fall. Sometimes the waves threaten to overtake us and we’re gasping for air. Sometimes we lose battles with depression and other health issues. Sometimes our circumstances are bad. At the end of it, we find that we outlast the storm. The best part is, we don’t need to go it alone. 🙂

Family Dynamics & How to Survive

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I told myself today that I need to write more. I used to write a lot. Writing has been a form of expression and solace for me since fifth grade. Usually when I was at my lowest, if I turned to writing, I was able to start healing. Between writing and music, I have found a cheaper way to vent and mend than therapy. I am highly disappointed in myself for not turning to writing more in the recent past. I need to challenge my writing skills and need to bring more creativity into my life.

I asked my Facebook family to give me ideas today so that I may begin writing once again, as I felt a block when it came to what to write about. Also, what better way to find out what people would want to read about than to ask the very people you’re trying to reach out to. Two of my friends responded. One wants me to write about encouragement, faith, hope, love, and the like and the other wants me to write about family. I am going to do my best to write about both. Let’s see how this develops.

My experiences with family have been all over the board. Growing up, I saw most came from the stereotypical perfect family: Mom, Dad, a couple of kids, and maybe a pet or two. For me though, it was my mom and I for so long. Enter in a boyfriend now and then, but most of my childhood it was just us. I met my dad when I was 10. Then, I found out I have a step-mom and three younger siblings. At 13, nearly 14, I was put into foster care and learned about yet another family dynamic. I have come to learn that families come in all shapes and sizes. There isn’t a perfect type of family. I have also learned that no matter how happy a family may seem, there’s always struggles. You may see happy faces on the walls smiling at you, but there’s often sorrow, strife, hurt, and more behind those happy faces.

Family should be close knit, bound by blood first, but by love even more. Even when it is, it will face issues over the years. I have felt love and loathing within my family. I have known kindness and treachery. Sometimes the ones that hurt us the most are those we’re related to and sometimes the ones we’re closest to are our friends, who form yet another family dynamic. Not all families are bound by blood. When asked what a family is, I don’t have a concrete answer. I will tell you what I think a family should be though.

A family, whether bound by blood or not, should encourage one another. A family should lift its members up and not tear one another down. A family should have faith in one another, feeling in their souls the love and loyalty from one another. A family should not dictate who is worthy of love and instead if they see a member struggling or going down a path they ought not, reach out and try to help. Sometimes people can’t or simply don’t want to be helped and sometimes you need to distance yourself from another, but to outright turn your back on one without even trying to understand, without trying to be there just seems wrong to me. I have had family members turn their backs on me and on others simply because of the mistakes we made and deeming us unworthy of their love, help, and support. I think that is why it is hard for me to walk away from anyone, family or otherwise. I know how it feels to have people turn their backs on me and it hurts, so I try with all I have to be there for others. Families are not and should never be expected to be perfect. We all, as individuals and groups, fall and make mistakes. It should then be our desire, when one falls, is to help one another back up. I have, perhaps too grand, big ideas of what family should be, but I don’t believe any of it is unobtainable, not when people are committed to working together. No one should let any of the weight fall on one or a few members, but let it be upon us all.

How to survive family life may sound easy to some and extremely difficult to others. For while family should be a force that bands together, sadly, it’s often not. Sometimes we tear one another down and make life extremely difficult for ourselves and those around us. Some do stick together and make family look like something amazing. But having known some of these wonderful families, I see that they too need to work to make their relationships with one another work. Any relationship needs to be worked on. If ever we feel that we’re at a good place and stop, then it will begin to fall apart. We need to keep at it. Marriages, friendships, working relationships, family ties, and the like all require work, effort, time, respect, communication, and loyalty. For me, I have found that I survive my various family dynamics by knowing every individual is just that, an individual. Every one of them is different and I can’t treat each person the same. But, I do try to give each person in my life respect, loyalty, kindness, and love. I also try to communicate, to keep in touch, to let them know when there needs to be something worked on, and when I am very happy by how things are going as well. We face issues, but I try to face them head on and together. If we try to fight through our struggles alone, how can they be fixed? One sided effort fails, but when people come together, so much is possible.

Family isn’t perfect, life is far from it even more so. But, united we stand and divided we fall. My goal is to keep working on the bonds I have formed and to form even more. I plan to never stop working on my relationships, but also plan to get better at knowing when to walk away from something, knowing when to keep trying and when enough is enough. I am far from as wise as I can possibly be, but I feel I can let the wisdom I have gained in 38 years guide me and to help me learn more, about myself and those around me. I hope to grow my faith, both in God and in others. I hope to learn how to encourage others more and learn to accept it from others better as well. Family can show us so much, if we’re willing to see it and learn from one another. We all have our ugly sides, but together we can open our eyes to the beautiful ones as well.

Consumed by thoughts, as usual. ;)

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Thoughts at the moment:

If you don’t like yourself, how can you expect others to like you?

We are often our worst critics.

It is often easier to give advice than to take it.

Actions really do speak louder than words.

Don’t like something about your life, change it, don’t expect others to do it for you.

Dreams can come true, but that all depends on you because you need to work for what you want in life.

We’re not promised tomorrow, so why spend so much time worrying about it? (easier said than done, I know.)

The past is the past, leave it there. Learn your lessons from it and move on.

You’re the only one who give yourself peace.

Love is stronger than hate, it always wins in the end.

We’re growing, changing, learning, and evolving till the day we die, so I suppose it’s always going to be safe to say, “I’m not where I was, but nor am I where am meant to be.”

Mistakes are a part of life, don’t let fear of failure ever hold you back. 

Embrace each mistake and use it as your next chance to grow.

Be old enough to know better, be wise, but be young enough to find the joy in life.

Your life is ruined only if you let it be.

God will only bring you to it if He’s going to bring you through it.

The power of laughter knows no limitations.

A good cry can cleanse the soul.

Don’t let hurt make you skeptical.

A child or an animal will show you your true worth.

No amount of make-up, surgery, or bling will ever be able to hide an ugly soul.

You were born an original, don’t become a copy.

Let your life leave an echo of laughter and love for an eternity.

So many judge and forget they live in a house made of glass.

I will fight for what I love and love what I fight for.

Don’t mistake my kindness as weakness.

I’m tougher than you think, smarter too.

Cherish those you love while they’re here, because tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us.

A genuine smile can change someone’s day.

Sometimes it’s nice to hear that when you have to do something difficult, you’re doing the right thing.

Sometimes it’s nice to hear that someone is proud of you, so don’t hesitate to be someone who encourages another.

Life is too short to hold onto grudges.

Find a reason to smile every single day, no matter how tough it might be.

There may never be a right time to do or say something, so sometimes you just have to go for it because you might not get another chance.

Oh and hey, everyone reading this….I love you.

My Plea

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Up, down, and all around
I’ve been looking all day
But my sanity is no where to be found
There’s so much I have to say
But the words won’t come, to my dismay

So isolated, feeling cut off from those I love
Frustrated and just at my wits end
Crying, I look to the Lord above
To my angry heart, please attend
Peace and tranquility, do send

It’s become so difficult to undertake the task
I know I’m the only one who is here for her each day
But all that’s now required is becoming too much to ask
Please Lord, help me before I lose my way
Renew my strength, give me the patience somehow I pray

The anger builds and sometimes I yell
The waves crash hard and throw me into the harsh sea
I know it’s not her fault, that much I can tell
But sometimes it’s just too much for only me
Take away the bitterness, please set me free

Wrap me up in your love, hear my plea
Remind me I’m not going through this alone
Show me who I am meant to be
And surround me with the friends I’ve known
The ones who have stood be me as I’ve grown

Together we’ve stood through many dark days
Weathering every storm, finding ways to dance in the rain
Then laughing when the sun comes out and basking in its warm rays
Thanking You I do for bringing us together and healing every pain
In the end, You helped me overcome every hurt, heartache, and strain

So again I ask You
Help me get through this, I feel so weak
I need love that’s true
Here I stand, humble and meek
Give me the strength, wisdom, and love that I seek

Creativity, at an all time high….thanks to you….

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Upon reading one of Shaun’s posts today, it got me thinking and I decided to check my own archives. I joined WordPress on July 19th, 2012 and have posted 90 blog posts, including this one. What amazes me most is that this month alone holds now 31 of those 90 posts.

My first month, I posted twice. In August, I posted four and in September too. I made one post in October, two in November, and ooh I increased to six in December. It was in January when it went up to 12 and then 28 in February! It’s amazing how much more involved I have been with this since 2013 began! A huge part of that is due to you guys and dolls, my how you have inspired this mind of mine!

Again, I want to say thank you! I never knew this experience would become so important in my life, so wonderful. I didn’t know how much I’d learn, how my perspectives on so much would change. I had no idea just how my creativity would come to flow so much easier. Thank you for sharing who you are with me, for inspiring me, and for being my friends. I have made some strong connections on here and am feeling so very blessed right now.

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