4 out of 5 dentists recommend this WordPress.com site

Posts tagged ‘depression’

Semicolon Project Awareness Day

20190416_120501.jpg

It’s Semicolon project awareness day. In honor of that, I want to say…

Depression and other mental health illnesses aren’t always shown by making overly dramatic posts. Living with them doesn’t always mean we’re wanting to die and often times, when it is, it won’t be announced, it’ll be kept hidden. Living with mental health issues isn’t always easily visible to others. In fact, many times, those dealing depression try to hide the pain and sadness. We sometimes hide it with smiles, silliness, and a happy go lucky attitude.

They manifest themselves in different ways and they’re not on the same level for anyone. Maybe plans get canceled because we’re not up to acting happy and sometimes we’ll go out often because we don’t want to be alone. Sometimes we’ll over eat or not eat at all. Sometimes we’ll sleep a lot or barely. Sometimes the joy in things we normally love will fade and sometimes we’ll throw ourselves into it even more to try to distract our minds. Sometimes we will seem perfectly fine and other times, it’ll be easy to see. Some hide it well and others don’t. That doesn’t mean one is hurting more than another.

Depression can kill, not always via suicide, but also many times, over a long period of time, a mind can slowly give up and the body will start to deteriorate. It is not something to be ignored or treated as if it’s something we can just get over. It doesn’t have a cure. There are things that can help and make a difference, yes. One of those things is a good support system.

A support system of people that don’t judge, people that are there to help us through often makes the biggest difference. Coming from someone who has been on medicine, seen therapists, and tried many other forms of treatment, having people that stand by me has helped the most. We can be difficult to deal with. When in deep ruts, we can lash out, become unresponsive, and act out in many ways. When you stick with us through all of it, that says you love us, we’re worth the effort, and we’re more than the crippling sadness, anger, anxiety, etc that we face.

We are not our illness. We are people with hopes, dreams, desires, and goals. Thank you to those that see that. Thank you to those that help us in any way you can. Thank you for supporting us. Thank you for tough love, when needed. Thank you for a kind and compassionate love, when needed. Thank you. Thank you for all you do. Many of us know that what effects us effects you too.

My story is far from over and I hope that yours is too. If we work together, we can lift one another up and get through, one day at a time. You are, he is, she is, I am, we are worth it. Our lives are worth living. I love you. Thank you for loving me too.

Advertisements

Trapped

902afba9ef0a24951883bab0c0292360

Trapped

Trapped without light

Without light

Without light, no sound

No sound

No sound but the voices in my head

The voices in my head

The voices in my head frighten me

 

Alone

Alone in the darkness

The darkness

The darkness brings an eerie comfort

An eerie comfort

An eerie comfort washes over me

Washes over me

Washes over me with an intensity

 

Depression

Depression takes hold of me

Takes hold of me

Takes hold of me and won’t let go

Won’t let go of my every thought

My every thought

My every thought grows darker

Grows darker by the hour

 

Tears

Tears flow violently

Flow violently

Flow violently into a puddle

Into a puddle

Into a puddle that continues to grow

Continues to grow

Continues to grow until it consumes me

 

Drowning

Drowning in pain

In pain

In pain and begging it to stop

Begging it to stop

Begging it to stop as the tears continue

The tears continue

The tears continue to swallow my soul

 

Numbness

Numbness takes over

Takes over

Takes over as I close my eyes

I close my eyes

I close my eyes and drift away

Drift away to a place full of light

Bi-Polar Unmasked

 

Many don’t know or understand what living with a mental health illness or living with someone who has one is like. It’s definitely more recognized now than in years past and I’m thankful that more are taking this seriously. Mental health illnesses deserve acknowledging, being researched, funding for help, etc. From bi-polar to schizophrenia, doctors, scientists, and more are taking notice and working hard to help those of us that struggle with these seemingly invisible illnesses. Still, there are many out there who treat mental health illnesses as though they’re unimportant, made up, or those who have one are some sort of freak show. Being treated like what we live with isn’t a big deal or like we’re damaged goods gets old. It can be hurtful to be treated like what we live with is just something we can just snap out of at anytime.

Maybe if you eat better, surely it’s just a matter of diet. Maybe if you just willed yourself to overcome it. Maybe if you just get over yourself. Maybe you should just stop being so dramatic. Maybe if you prayed harder. Maybe if you did this or maybe if you did that. Gah!!!!!!

OR…..

You’re a total freak show. I can’t associate myself with someone so messed up. Your moods are just too all over the place. Your depression brings me down. Why are you so anxious all the time? Does it really matter if things are out of place? Why are you freaking out? Is there a reason you’re crying, again? How long has it been since you brushed your hair? I can’t be your friend, you’re just too high maintenance.

Unless you live with a mental health illness, you can’t truly understand how crippling it can be. How long has it been since I brushed my hair or showered? You know, I’m not sure. Why did I just spend money on things I don’t need? I felt a compulsion and couldn’t stop. Does it really matter if things are out of place? Yes. YES! If things are out of place, I feel an agitation I can’t put in check. I MUST have order. I MUST have things a certain way. I won’t rest until I do. Rest? I feel like staying in bed all day. I’m just exhausted. I feel so depressed. The tears won’t stop. I’m a failure and a freak. Why would anyone love me? I’ll just call in today, again. Mania sets in and now I’m crazy cleaning, extra irritable, and ultra hyper. I have such energy. What’s wrong with you? I don’t know. Why are you so touchy? I don’t know. Why are you snapping for no reason? I don’t know. Why are you crying, again? I don’t know. Why can’t you just snap out of it? I DON’T KNOW!!!!

Therapists, pyschologists, psychiatrists, and medications, oh my!!! Say that five times fast! Insults are hurled if we utilize these to get help. Can’t you deal with things without meds? Why do you need some shrink? You’re just weak. You’re just having a few bad days here and there, just suck it up. But then again, if we refuse to get that help, then we are wrong too. Clearly you need help, so why not get on medication to control your mood swings and stabilize yourself? You know, it’s not just about you, right? See a therapist, you need help. No matter what we do or don’t do, we’re failing in someone’s eyes.

It’s a daily struggle, on or off meds. Whether we see a mental health specialist or not, things are still hard sometimes. Fighting your mind isn’t an easy feat. You’re constantly torn. You try so hard to be “normal”. Why can’t I just be mentally stable? Why am I like this? Why?! Why is it so hard to maintain friendships? Why do people turn their backs on me? I know why. I wouldn’t want to deal with me either. I want to hold a regular job. I want to succeed. Eh. This job just wasn’t right for me. Maybe the next one? I want to be loved. I don’t deserve love. I can overcome anything. I am strong. I can beat this. I can’t do anything right. I’ll never amount to anything. I can’t beat this. My past stirs up awful memories. The nightmares leave me barely able to function. The past won’t beat me. I survived. I can survive anything. I am lonely, but I don’t want to leave the house. I want to make my dreams come true. I’ll fight to do just that. Well, maybe tomorrow. Up, up, up, and then crashing down, HARD.

I have bi-polar, anxiety, PTSD, and OCD. I’ve been ridiculed, laughed at, treated like a freak, and pushed away, by many, including myself. Many can’t make sense of what goes on inside my head, least of all me. Growing up, I didn’t know what to make of what was going on inside my head. I just thought I was broken. As an adult, I got diagnosed with bi-polar first. The others followed behind that. I have been on many medications and seen many doctors. It’s been a fight the whole way, with or without that specialized help. One thing I’ve found that’s helped the most is a personal support system. They have made and continue to make a huge difference in getting through the really hard days. They deserve so much credit.

Those who live with people that have mental health illnesses should never be overlooked. They deal with our mood swings, meltdowns, odd behaviors, and more. They help us through. When we’re beyond reason, they just wait it out and deal with whatever we throw their way. If they themselves deal with mental health illnesses, that makes things even tougher. When you have more than one under one roof, it can be a challenge. My son and I both deal with them. Our relationship sure has been tested. Then there’s my husband, the stable one, trying to deal with us both. It’s not been easy for anyone. Somehow, he manages. Accepting us both hasn’t been easy, but I’m thankful he has. Since he’s entered our lives, there’s some semblance of stability. He deserves a thousand shout outs. As hard as it is to live with the actual illnesses, it’s plenty difficult living with those that do. So, thank you.

Things like cancer, MS, Cystic Fibrosis, and heart disease are major concerns and definitely deserve to be recognized, researched, have people fighting for cures, and to have people across the globe raising awareness for them. I find no issue with any of that, at all. I have had family members and friends face cancer, Type One Diabetes, heart disease, CF, Dementia and Alzheimer’s, and more. Some I love have even lost their lives to these. It’s not been easy watching people I love suffer. So I support causes that try to help them and others that live with or have lost their lives to such illnesses and diseases.

I just want to also raise awareness for people who live with mental health illnesses. What we go through is serious and deserves recognition too. So, here is bi-polar and such unmasked. Yes, the illnesses are in our minds, but only in the sense that’s what they effect. They stem from imbalances in our brains. They’re very real. If you know someone that lives with one, try showing compassion, patience, and love. I know we’re not easy to deal with, but we’re far more than the illnesses we live with.

I am not bi-polar. I’m not my illness. I have bi-polar. There’s a difference between being and having something. I refuse to let it define me. The mask is off. Here I stand, telling you about a part of myself. I hope you’ll learn something. Maybe it’ll help you with someone you know or maybe you are dealing with this yourself.  Either way, I hope this opens eyes and minds. Mental health is important. It starts with the mind, but it also effects physical health as well. A healthy mind and body go hand in hand. Having support instead of insults and ignorance is the first step to helping. Let’s all take one step forward today….

Adjust Your Sails

151996556143801819_cxs4ag4z_c

After all the posts I’ve seen today where people are putting themselves down, feeling not good enough, feeling ugly, and just not doing well, I feel compelled to say this….

God doesn’t make ugly. He doesn’t make mistakes. He made you. You are not ugly. You are not a mistake. You are worthy of love. You are meant for great things. You are in fact beautiful. You are wonderful.

Today might be bad for you. Maybe this whole year has been hard so far. But. You are not the bad things happening. You are meant to rise above. It may take time. You may hurt for awhile. That’s awful, if that’s the case, but sometimes we have those times when things are hard. This WILL pass though. You can get through. You are NOT alone. You are NOT your past, mistakes, grief, hard times, or doubts. You are more than any illness or label. You are someone of value that is meant to do and be great things. Keep believing that, each day that you can and when you find you can’t, I can remind you.

Let’s adjust those sails, ladies and gents. These storms aren’t meant to drown us, even though sometimes it may feel that way. Sometimes we fall. Sometimes the waves threaten to overtake us and we’re gasping for air. Sometimes we lose battles with depression and other health issues. Sometimes our circumstances are bad. At the end of it, we find that we outlast the storm. The best part is, we don’t need to go it alone. 🙂

What My Voice Can’t Say….

638ed14eb462a767f28f6f668be78dae

Darkness Crept In

The lonely heart wept

For the darkness within crept

While happiness slept

 

Part-time Love

You swear you’ll be there

But then you break promises

And fade out of sight

 

Seeking Direction

I look at the map

Trying to find the way home

Feeling blindsided

 

A New Hope

I need a new hope

The old one within has died

Please relight the flame

 

What My Voice Can’t Say

Sorrow grips my lips

The red sea finds me again

Help me find my voice

Torn

depression-quote-14

I’m tempted to brush my teeth

And I also I want to eat S’mores

I’m tempted to go do the dishes

And I also want time crawl into bed

I’m tempted to scream at the top of my lungs

And I also want to cry for hours

I’m tempted to fight these demons

And I also want to let them win

Which part of me will win right now?

I do not yet know.

 

 

I’m Ready For Spring

Image

Spring may only be weeks away

Yet it feels like winter is here to stay

I’m trying to be happy about this snowy season

But I’m having difficulty finding even one reason

 

The cold air makes my skin so very dry

It’s become cracked & so painful that I want to cry

I got my snow on Christmas Day

Now I beg of you winter, please go away

 

I slip on the ice, my body feels frozen, & the roads become slick

Not to mention that this when it’s the easiest for me to get sick

The sun doesn’t come out nearly enough to play

Causing me to feel more tired, depressed, & resentful of these skies of gray

 

I know there’s always a rhyme and a reason for each season

But my body has declared that winter’s long stay is treason

Spring, oh where for art thou, won’t you come home?

So that upon green grass & beautiful flowers I might roam

 

I want to see the season of rebirth, feel the joy of life anew

To sit beneath a tree with its leaves of green, drinking iced tea & eating honeydew

Bask in the sun as we walk our puppy so that she may play in it all day

For your swift return oh spring, I do humbly pray

 

No I am not going to move far far away

For there are reasons I feel the need to stay

And don’t tell me not to complain about the cold

Surely you know I won’t then do as I’m told

 

It’s true that then when summer makes its debut

And the days become too hot & humid, I’ll complain about that too

But that’s only because the extreme either way takes its toll on my body

Though when all is said and done, I really do appreciate all of nature’s beauty

 

The snow, the ice, the changing of the leaves, the sun, the wind, & the rain

They’re all needed, it’s just that after awhile, each can become a pain

And right now, that is what winter has become to me

A pain for my skin, my lungs, my joints, most especially my back & knees

 

I know that you have your place winter, that there’s a reason you exist

But, it’s nearly your time to go, of this I strongly insist

Let my body thaw, mind rejuvenate, and heart rejoice

In the coming of spring’s most wondrous & melodious voice

Party & Events

Events, parties, celebrations

WordPress Tutorials

WordPress Tutorials

✞♫♪ untamedpraise ♪♫ ✞

Psalm 139: 23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!

The Self-Talk Show

Your most important daily show!

Maybe Crazy Help

Writing to Help Others Overcome Darkness

Organic Tree Nutrition

You are what you absorb

In Dianes Kitchen

Recipes showing step by step directions with pictures and gadget reviews

Emma Ortega Negrete

YOUR EMPOWERMENT COACH TRANSFORMING YOU TO YOUR AUTHENTIC HIGHEST SELF!

FARAH PINKLADY

Beauty & Lifestyle Blogger

Simply Blog for Cash

Simply Blog for Cash Website

SHOPPINGFIX

My Vanity and Closet

River of Word Flow

Rhymes and Reasons

#MILLENNIALLIFECRISIS

I dont have the answers, just a lot of questions.

Road to a Healthier Life

Steering You towards a Healthier Happier Life

t_r_a_v_e_l_l_e_r

"You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi; I can tell that it's going to be a long road....." ~ New Year's Day - Taylor Swift

mynightprayerwriting

original writing

The Dopamine Queen

Slow Motion Accident - Mental Health Advocate - Crisis Counselor - Bipolar 1

Intellectual Shaman

Poetry for Finding Meaning in the Madness

Baby Help Tips

Only The Best Baby Gear Guide For New Moms

Rite to write

biting through art

THE DREAM MAKER

Poem and motivational stories

The One Way Talks

A Stucked Writer in the stories/questions/beliefs of world. The One Way Talks is the page where all the quotes/poems/stories come along.

Open Mouth Restaurant

What's In Your Diet

dellartista

Where Life Is real.

Top 10 Food and Drinks From Around The World

Top 10 recipes, meals, restaurants and amazing kitchen gadgets and kitchenware

The Knowledge Log

Life is a broadway musical and everyday is a song. These are mine manifested as poetry.

Navigate My Recovery

Solutions For Better Living

Silent Songs of Sonsnow

"I have enough time to rest, but I don't have a minute to waste". Come and catch me with your wise words and we will have some fun with our words of wisdom.

inkbiotic

A mish mash of interesting words and snippets from the foolish disaster that is my life

Life of Chaz

Welcome to My Life

Naturally Cooking

Easy Family Recipes-New Recipes Every Day

Domincusation

WordPress's #1 Motivation and Personal Development Source

Breakaway Consciousness

Seeking Ideas Beyond Conventional Thought

WRITER AADI

I write with the only aim in my mind to inspire as many people as I can and to spread positivity and happiness all around through my words

Luna

Every now and then my head is racing with thoughts so I put pen to paper

TV News

tv, news, tv series, fresh updates

☆ blatherskite ☆

-Wander often, wonder often-

sitting by sails.

poetry by nicolas ryan brown.

Melody Chen

Word-Experimentalist

Brangien Illuminated

I am Brangien [Brangaine] of Weisefort, Ireland, lady-in-waiting to my cousin Isolde, who became promised to King Marc of Cornwall. His nephew Tristan escorted us to England by ship. But Tristan and Isolde fell in love at sea. As ye may know, or will find out, they cite the philter they drank as the cause, over which I was supposed to keep vigil. I would like to share my perspective of how I have created good in the world through my herbs and observations. There is much to tell, including how I have adopted this odd language. In good time. My life is in God’s hands. –Inspired by the modern French translations of the Tristan and Isolde texts

New Beginnings

A safe haven where the mind is free.

%d bloggers like this: