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Posts tagged ‘dads’

Daddies Matter Too

Daddy

I had just written a poem about being pregnant and as I gave it some thought, I thought I should write something for the dads out there too. The women are the ones carrying the baby, but it took two to create the beautiful life. And I feel that sometimes the dad’s feelings are overlooked. I wanted to change that a little….

 

She told me that we need to talk

She said that it’s important

I’ve noticed that she’s been acting a little differently

I wonder what is going on inside that head of hers

 

Her moods have been a bit off

And I don’t know what to make of it

Is something wrong? Did I do something?

I wonder, could it be that she’s pregnant?

 

I am on pins and needles waiting to talk to her

I just want to know what’s going on

So we can figure everything out

The not knowing is the hardest part

 

We sit down together in the living room

The look in her eyes is hard to read

As she opens her mouth to speak

I see tears flowing down her cheeks

 

She reaches out for my hand and I clasp hers

She then tells me that she was “late”

And that she’d taken a pregnancy test

The results are in, “We’re having a baby!”

 

My mind is going a mile a minute

I had slightly suspected this could be the case

But I admit I wasn’t entirely prepared for it

I am not even sure how I feel right now

 

There’s so many emotions inside of me

I’m not sure how to make sense of them

A dad, I’m going to be a dad!

This is a lot for me to process

 

I squeeze her hand and smile

And then she drops my hand and leans in

I let her fall into me and I hold her tightly

I feel her body move as she cries

 

We sit like this for awhile and then she pulls back

She looks into my eyes and she asks me how I feel about this

I open my mouth to speak and at first, no words come out

And then I tell her, “I’m scared, but I’m happy too.”

 

Over the next few weeks, she’s making calls

Setting up appointments and making plans

In this time, my mind is slowly wrapping itself around it all

Our lives have changed so much and I know it’s only the beginning

 

She’s been getting sick and I don’t know how to deal with it

Nothing I say or do helps her feel any better

I feel like my hands are tied

And I hate seeing her like this

 

Things have been changing for her so much

And in so little time it seems

I rub her back, hold her, and bring her whatever she asks

But I feel like it’s not enough

 

I know this is all hard for her

And I wish I could make things easier

She’s the one carrying our child

While I sit here trying to figure out how to help

 

She’s crying one minute and ready to throw things the next

I feel like I need to walk on eggshells around her sometimes

I admit, it can be a bit frustrating to handle now and then

But then I remember, there’s a life growing inside of her

 

We heard our child’s heartbeat for the first time today

She cried and while I didn’t, I admit that it was hard not to

In this moment, it has become more real than it’s ever been

That sound made things very clear to me

 

We’re figuring out how to rearrange our home

My workout room will become our child’s bedroom

But where will I put everything that’s been in there?

I suppose she’ll want me to repaint the room, I hate painting

 

Her clothes don’t fit anymore and she’s depressed

I reassure her that she’s still the most beautiful woman I know

We talk about baby names and wonder what gender our child will be

We also discuss if we will find out the gender early or wait

 

The sickness has been gone for a little while

But the mood swings have increased

This has been an emotional roller coaster

And not just for her, but for me too

 

Today, she took my hand and placed it on her belly

After a few moments, I felt our baby move

That feeling was intense

I can only imagine how she feels

 

I admit, I am getting a little excited

But, I am also very nervous

I know my partner and our child both need me

I don’t want to fail them and I’m afraid I might

 

I envision our child as a little boy

And I see myself playing ball with him

Teaching him about girls and their crazy ways

And working on the old mustang my dad left me

 

And then I see our child being a girl

I see myself pushing her on the swings at the nearby park

Having tea with her and her favorite stuffed animals

And teaching her about boys and their many flaws

 

As the time draws closer, plans are being made

She’s had her baby shower and we’ve bought a lot more since

For someone so small, they sure need an awful lot

And we begin to baby proof everything

 

Her bag for the hospital is set and now we play the waiting game

Her due date is within days and the anxiety and anxiousness set in

She’s uncomfortable and I can tell just by how she moves

I do what I can to make things easier for her

 

Here it is, the moment of truth

Her contractions have started

As we time them, they begin to get closer together

So we grab her bag, our coats, and we’re out the door

 

The sounds she makes when the contractions hit are intense

I hear the pain in her voice and my heart breaks

I can’t endure this pain for her and there’s nothing I can do to help

I drive as fast as I can to get her to the hospital

 

She’s checked in and in a delivery room

Doctors and nurses seem to be everywhere

And yet no where at the same time

The contractions are so close together now

 

What seems like an eternity later, her water has broken

And they say it won’t be too long now

But, that’s not what it feels like

Watching and listening to my partner as she’s in labor

 

I hold her hand and tell her I love her a million times

She looks so tired, just ready to pass out

But then another wave of pain hits

She squeezes my hand and I feel it go numb

 

And then finally, the doctor tells me the baby is crowning

Before I know it, I hear the sounds of a baby crying

The doctor cuts the umbilical cord and announces, “It’s a girl!”

I feel as if I’m the one who is going to pass out now

 

I watch as they wipe her down and wrap her up

And then place her in my love’s arms

The smile on her face is the brightest I have ever seen

She has never looked more beautiful than she does right now

 

She just stares at her for awhile and then looks at me

She asks me if I want to hold our daughter

Hesitantly, I reach out my arms and take her

This is it, she’s finally here

 

As I look down upon the sleepy little face

Something changes inside me

And then my own tears fall

Right here is my world, my everything

 

I know that from now on our lives will never be the same

And while a part of me is still nervous

The joy I feel overrides that by a million times over

Looking at my partner and my daughter, I feel whole

 

 

 

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On this day, Father’s Day…..

fathers day

I hope this day was amazing for all of you, no matter what your situation may be. Dads, step-dads, adoptive dads, foster dads, dads to be, men who long to be dads, dad type figures, single moms playing both roles, grandpas, uncles, god-fathers, and so on…..this day was to honor your hard work, sacrifices, and love for your children and families.

For me, I had many to think of today. I couldn’t be with them all, seeing as some have passed, some are too far away, etc. But, I was thinking of each of you. Thank you personally for your roles in my life. I love each of you. For my family/friends that are being honored today…know I am proud of each of you and hope that your day was amazing.

For the dads that have passed away, the children who have gone….your lights still shine and we honor you too today. On Father’s Day, knowing your dad isn’t here to be honored is an unbearable thing to deal with, watching others honor their dads when you can’t, not easy. Being a dad when your child(ren) have died can’t be an easy thing to deal with. I do sincerely hope that each of you have been surrounded by loved ones today.

Before today ends, I say this to each of you: God Bless, much love, and here’s to a great week ahead! Oh and don’t forget to show those in your life still with you how much you mean to them.

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