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Posts tagged ‘courage’

I Won’t Go Quietly, Good Sir…

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I’m part of a women’s bible study that focuses on Ruth and five habits of a woman that doesn’t quit. It’s definitely made an impact already.

I’ve been known to give up when nothing was working the way I wanted or before I even began if I thought there was a decent chance of failure. I don’t even know how many books I started that never got finished or how many opportunities I’ve missed out on due to fear or frustration.

Being a part of this group has really opened my eyes. I don’t want to be that person who shies away from remarkable chances anymore. Sometimes we have to take a risk to get to where we want to be. The greatest things in life are often gotten through hard work and risks taken.

Faith in Him and His plan isn’t always easy to have, in fact many times we’re challenged and feel unsure if He knows what He’s doing. But, it’s in those times when we need to draw nearer and trust that things will work out according to His great design. Trust in His plan may not come easy, but it’s always worth it.

It may appear that I’ve gotten off topic, but I assure you that faith and trust in His plan is part of what helps keep us from quitting. Left to my own devices, I’ve quit, failed, and messed up more times than I can count. When I let Him in and let Him guide me, no matter how great or difficult things may be, this is when things work out.

I’m a work in progress, we all are. Every day, every moment is another challenge, a chance to keep going or to quit. Every moment is a choice to trust Him or to go it alone. I won’t lie, I know my pride will get in the way and there will be times I think I can do it all alone. There will be things I quit, things I think I could never accomplish. But, my sincere hope is that I’ll continue to grow, learn, and do better.

There are many wonderful opportunities awaiting me, if I have the courage to go for it. With Him, they’re possible, I just have to remember and trust in that, in Him. One day, one moment at a time….but know this fear, I won’t go quietly. God is with me, so you may knock me over, but you will not keep me down.

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My Quest For A Fairytale Life

 

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I spent years chasing my fairytale

And dreaming of a love built to last

Hoping my prince would sweep me off my feet

Together then we would find our happily ever after

 

After awhile it seemed that love would forever elude me

Each relationship I entered into failed miserably

And by the end of each one, I felt more and more lost

Stuck in a maze of loneliness, doubt, and failure

 

I prayed that God would send my prince to me

That he would help guide me out of the darkness

I imagined him fighting through the maze to find me

He would face many foes and defeat each one

 

How was I to know that I was the greatest challenge of all?

As much as I desired to love and be loved in return

I held it and any real chance of stability at arms length

Fearing what would happen if I ever let them get too close

 

As the days turned into years, my depression grew

And the anger at the world and at myself festered within me

Lashing out, just so tired of an imperfect world and life

Hating who I was, not knowing how to overcome the demons within

 

God slowly began to show me a path that would lead me out

That would guide me towards the life I desired

Though it would not be an easy path to take

But if I was brave enough, I would see it would all be worth it

 

After losing countless friends due to the demons within me

And many failed relationships, I began to waken from my nightmare

As I began to see the light up ahead and find the courage to follow it

Things began to change all around and within

 

Some things lost were never to be recovered

And while it broke my heart to realize this

I saw that He was bringing me to new and better things

As I bid goodbye to the past, a sense of hope was kindled in me

 

Some friendships were saved and new life was found within them

Relationships with family members were strengthened

The roadblocks between my son and I began to crumble

And now we’re closer than ever, now that my head is on straight

 

As the hope within me blossomed, the clouds above me thinned

I began to make my way through the dark maze

Holding onto the rays of light that were trying to guide me through

And after many years, I finally found my way out

 

At the exit, there he was, waiting for me

Knowing I could do it without a knight to come to the rescue

As I turned to look back at the maze, I realized something

In one sense, I did it on my own and yet, I was also never alone

 

I had to find the courage and will within me to fight the demons

But that courage came from God

And when I thought I was walking alone

He was there beside me, guiding me every step of the way

 

And the support of many that loved me was within me

Cheering me on, I just didn’t see them

My eyes were too focused on the difficulties to really see

But even in my darkest times, I was never alone

 

Now here I stand, still taking things one day at a time

I still have some rough days

But they’re not like before

This time, I know I will make it through them all

 

As it turned out, my fairytale wasn’t something I needed to chase

It needed to find me, when the time was right

When I was truly ready for it

When it was meant to be

 

My prince doesn’t ride upon a magnificent steed

And nor does he battle to save my life

Though he does wage wars with the demons inside my head

But together we fight them and we always win

 

When I feel like I will fall apart, he is there to help me

He balances me out, stabilizes me

But he does not control me

He lets me know that I can do whatever I set my mind to

 

I found within him not only my partner, but also my best friend

And I in turn, do all that I can to help him

As he walks with me, I walk with him each day of our lives

Helping one another through the bad times & together celebrating the good ones

 

We also remember to nourish our friendships

Not only enjoy our time together

But also our time apart

Enjoying all that makes us who we are

 

We are blessed, both as a couple and as individuals

We have family that loves us

Friends that adores us

Jobs, a home, pets to raise, and one another to come home to

 

Life will never be perfect

Not even in fairytales

But as I realized that

It was then I saw just how beautiful it is

Don’t Blend In, Be Proud to Stand Out

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Surrounding the world is a thick mist & dark shadow

It threatens to take over, suppressing all light & hope

Hate, cruelty, & greed have such power, it tries to sway all to follow

It has the capability to leave a soul feeling nothing but empty & hollow

 

It defiantly smirks & tells hope, joy, & love that its time here is done

That instead it shall takes its place among the hearts of men

Already it has begun to corrupt hearts once noble & true

Seeking to destroy each & every soul, including me & you

 

Promising power, riches, fame, & fortune to all who succumb

Not revealing its true intentions, to win our favor & then let us destroy one another

Will you fight against the evil that appears to have the upper hand?

Will you with those brave enough be willing to take a stand?

 

Upon our fortresses, we must gather & fight with all that is within us

Hold our shields over our hearts & resist the urge to give in to it

Standing tall together with our heads held up high

Letting society’s darkness know it will never truly win, no matter how hard it does try

 

It tells us we must quietly blend in, to give in to its propaganda

To believe it, to not see what it is really trying to accomplish

Divide & conquer is & has always been its true goal

To be our master forever more is its desired role

 

Diets, plastic surgery, designer clothes, & other frivolous things

Do not stand out, just blend in, give up your identity

But then we become what it wants us to be, clones of one another

Forgetting that we are bound together as sisters & brothers

 

So to you all I say this now, do not give in to its false promises

Do not let it divide us as it’s been trying relentlessly to do

Stand tall & be proud of the individual that you were born to be

And never forget that within each of us is love, hope, joy, & loyalty

The Girl You Always Knew

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For most of my life, I have had the same dream

But it’s not as crazy as to some it might seem

For there are many who are on the same page

Who long to be performing their songs up on stage

 

What has kept me from accomplishing my goals is fear

Fear of forgetting the words or of my voice failing all who could hear

It took me years & many supportive friends to truly find my voice

Once I began to trust the songs within, I began to see I’d made the right choice

 

At the very heart of who I am, you can hear the music playing

Look closely & you’ll see to my melodies people swaying

Relating to me through my story told by my lyrics

See that young boy, elated at catching the drummers pair of autographed sticks

 

Looking into the crowd, I see many young girls living their dreams through me

I remember the days when I was one of them, dreaming that someday I’d be up here for all to see

Dreaming of the day I’d be able to tell the world my story

But not letting it get to my head, but instead sharing the fame & glory

 

I swore if I ever made it big as I always hoped someday I could

I’d give back to all who helped me in life & to those in need, just as I should

To be the same girl I was before my dream came true

Never allowing my ego to overtake me, becoming someone my loved ones outgrew

 

As it’s turned out, my only stage is in the world of karaoke

Where my only fans are those in bars, made up mostly of friends & family

But it’s still more than I ever thought I’d have the courage to do

And I am glad the small town fame I have has kept me the same girl you always knew

Silent Nightmare

Veterans Day

Barely a man

Overseas he travels

So very far from home

To a fight for our country

 

He doesn’t understand why

He just knows our country needs him

So he prepares to give all he has

To defend the land he loves

 

He faced things he never dreamed of

But now it’s all he can do to escape the nightmares

When he came home

There wasn’t anyone to help him through

 

He locked the memories deep within

Though he’s never really forgotten

Alcohol became his dearest friend

Silently he wept for years

 

No one understands what he went through

That’s how he feels

He refuses to open up

Even to others who faced the harsh foreign lands

 

His sacrifices lay quietly within his mind

But those who love him can see them in his eyes

And though we have promised never to pry

Sometimes we wish he’d find someone to open up to

 

I can’t imagine what he’s seen

Nor what he had to do

He’s been way braver than I could ever be

I just wish I could tell him how proud I am of him

 

For my father who fought in Vietnam and for all veterans….thank you for all you have done and for all you continue to do. Your courage, honor, love for our country, and sacrifices, both mental and physical mean so much to so many of us. Thank you!!!!

 

Dancing With the Wind

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The wind makes its presence known today

And it asks me if I want to come out to play

Oh what the heck, it might be fun

I think I’ll take my kite out for a little run

 

I let it soar way up high

Taking my dreams upon it to the sky

They dance merrily with the wind

Free to explore, from my mind they’re unpinned

 

As I see them take flight

I am filled with such delight

I do not wish to reign them back in

For with the wind, they have found their kin

 

It is not right to smother a dream

To hold it close, no matter how right it might seem

It needs to be free to catch fire and fly

To soar like eagles in the night’s sky

 

How else might they come true

If the only one who knows about them is you?

Don’t let fear take hold

Let your passion make you bold

 

As the time to go inside draws near

What I must do has become clear

Come rain, sleet, frost, or snow

Upon the wind, my dreams will still flow

One Day Soon

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As dawn approaches, her day ends
She takes her mask off
Remnants of the day go down the drain
Pulling her hair into a sloppy ponytail
All things sexy and frilly are on the floor

This isn’t the life I imagined, she thinks to herself
Once upon a time
I dreamed of something better
How did I end up here?
Sighing, she crawls into bed alone

She had aspirations of such things like college
Earning a degree and making an honest living
Finding the right guy perhaps, getting married
Maybe even have a couple of kids
You know, the white picket fence and other such things

Staring at the ceiling as the light peers in
She recalls the day her life changed
Someone offered her an easy way to make money
Assured her she’d have a bright future
Would never have to worry about how she’d make her way

He was right about the money, she makes plenty
But her life feels so very empty
There’s no one to share her dreams with
She goes to bed in tears nearly every night
Praying for the courage to change

“I’m better than this.”, she whispers to herself
Somehow I have to make things right
Use the money I have earned for school
Make something from the nothing I feel inside
It’s not too late to rekindle my old dreams

I just need the courage to walk away from this
To change, to go after a better life
“Give me the strength I need.”, she prays
My life will be one of meaning and purpose
I know it’s not too late, she tells herself

Closing her eyes finally, hoping for sleep
She resolves to change, to make things right
The courage I need is within me
I will find it and I will do this
One day soon

 

For anyone who has ever been there, who has ever wondered how they got where they are, has ever struggled with having the courage to change…this is for you. I am not sure why I chose the scenario that I did, it just came to me, but the message is the same no matter what anyone is going through. Courage can be found and it’s not too late to turn things around, not as long as one still has life left within them.

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