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Posts tagged ‘changing’

Once Upon a Light Saber

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Once upon a plastic light saber

There was a young boy ready to travel through space

To defeat the Sith lord, no matter the labor

Fierce determination set upon his little face

 

Taking a break from the arduous fighting

He unmasks himself and comes to tell me his tales

And asks me to find out why his weapon stopped lighting

For he knows mom’s magic rarely fails

 

It seems like a lifetime ago that he was this little Jedi

Now stands before me a young man, still ready to fight

But his battles are far more real than those in the sky

Standing tall and facing each foe with all of his might

 

Why do we often a teenagers strife overlook

Or not take them as seriously as they’d like

So the young man before me expresses with such a look

And we couldn’t possibly understand since we’re nothing alike

 

Oh, you were a teenager, yes yes, I know

But surely you don’t face the things we do now

Says my fourteen year old, so full of woe

And why are there so many things you don’t allow

 

Yet through the angst this young man does feel

He does know that he’s not as alone as he’d like to portray

And that my love for him is still so very real

The laughter sounds and for awhile, worry is kept at bay

 

He is not so little anymore, it’s true

No, now he’s my young man standing tall

Voice changing, hormones raging, and my how he grew

But, he does let me know he needs me if he were to fall

 

So strong and increasingly seeking independence

I both fear and anxiously await the day he goes in the world alone

Will he use the lessons we taught or leave them on the fence?

Whatever he does, I hope that his light is brightly shone

 

I want him to lead his own life and do well

But, I hope that wherever he may roam

That he should not ever in homesickness dwell

For this will always be a place he can call home.

 

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Thoughts on Parenthood

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As we grow, we change, both outwardly and within as well. As babies, we need so much help. We can’t feed, dress, bathe, or clothe ourselves. We need help to get from place to place. Months go by and we’ve begun to learn. We’re rolling over, sitting up with support, and observing more of the environment around us. Then comes sitting on our own, crawling, picking things up, throwing things, learning to stand, and taking those first wobbly steps while clutching onto something. Eventually, we’re walking, climbing, and running. While all of this is going on, our bodies are changing and so are our minds.

Fast forward and now we’re talking, learning how to structure sentences as we speak, open things, match objects, count, recite the alphabet, and more. Off to school, and we learn so much more. As we grow and learn, we have been developing personalities of our own. We’re not just so and so’s kids, we’re truly our own souls. Many think kids can’t think for themselves, but sometimes I think they have a clearer and more level head on their shoulders than a lot of adults out there.

We, often times, don’t realize how complex and yet simple kids are until we’re adults and dealing with them ourselves. They’re fiery little people! Being a parent is both one of the greatest joys and most difficult things I have been given the chance to do. Some think that being a parent is all or mostly late night feedings, crying, disgusting diapers, tantrums, crayon on the walls, yelling, fighting, broken things, piles of laundry and dishes, and oh no more social life, at least one that doesn’t involve children. And others think that it’s laughter, cuddles, homemade projects, school plays and concerts, smiles, hugs, first steps, first words, braiding hair, playing catch, and love.

Parenthood is a mixture of some the greatest times in your life and some of the most difficult ones. It is late night feedings, tantrums, teenage angst, fighting, scolding, hurt feelings, and difficult times. There are days you will question your sanity, where you’ll wonder if you’re doing everything all wrong. You’ll cry in the car, lock yourself in the bathroom for a moment of peace, disagree with your partner (if you have one) on how to raise your kids time to time, panic, and overthink things. But, it is also seeing their smile and feeling so much joy, helping them unwrap their first Christmas presents, dressing them up for their school spring concert, seeing their face light up when they see you, hearing them tell you how much they love you, helping them get ready for a school dance, having fun play dates, cuddling on the couch, and the feeling of their hand in yours. You’ll smile when they bring you a handmade ornament from school, feel pride when they bring you a picture they drew just for you, (even if you don’t know what it is) laugh at the silly joke they made up, and feel more love than you ever knew was possible to feel.

When our kids grow into adults, that’s when we truly see our hard work put to the test. Did we give them tools they need to lead their own lives? Did they learn how to take care of themselves? Did we do enough? Did we do too much? What if they don’t need us anymore? What do we do now that we don’t have noses to wipe, cuts and scrapes to bandage, homework to help with, lessons to transport people to, nights to wait up, first and last days of school to anticipate, someone to read a bedtime story to, or get little snuggles from?

I am not quite to the point of having an adult child, but I do have a teenager. I also have a baby. They’re both in very different stages in life. I do often feel overwhelmed, but I also feel so very blessed. My children are the ones that inspire me daily to do and be more. I want to show them how to chase after their dreams, work hard, have fun, be good to others, and make the most of their lives by doing so myself. I don’t enjoy the fights, the attitude, messy diapers, waking in the middle of the night, or lack of time for me. However, I can’t imagine my life without the laughter, inside jokes, hugs, smiles, game nights, or feeling the love I feel for them or that they give to me return. That there is what makes it all worth it, the love. That, to me, is what life in and of itself is all about. Through every phase of our lives, it’s about the love within it, both giving and receiving. Life without love, to me, isn’t really living. My kids are the finest example of what unconditional love can do to and for someone.

I am blessed to have been able to watch them grow, learn, and become their own people. Parenthood isn’t for everyone and that’s okay. I don’t judge anyone who decides not to become parents, whether by having their own, adoption, fostering, being a step parent, etc. Some say it’s selfish if they decide not to continue their legacy, but I find it is more selfish to expect someone to have kids when that’s not what they want to do. Not all people are meant to be parents and sadly, many that are shouldn’t be. But, that’s for another blog or perhaps ones I have already written. 😉 Today, I am just counting my blessings for being able to be a parent. I make mistakes, we all do. I second guess myself a lot. I don’t always make the wisest decisions or the ones others want me to make. But, I do the best I can and my kids both have what they need and so much love.

If you have kids and you’re able to, let them know you love them today. Even if they’re grown, moved away, with the other parent, in college, or whatever the case may be….e-mail, text, call, snap chat, Skype, etc makes communication much easier. No matter how old they are, they’re always our kids. Life is short and we don’t know when our last chance will be to show love, so if you have the chance to today, don’t waste it. I got off topic a bit, but I hope you enjoyed reading today. Have a wonderful Wednesday, may you be richly blessed!

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My Reflection

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Who is this staring at me?

I don’t recognize the face I see

Time has changed so much

The way I smile, laugh, and touch

 

Deep within, I’m still the same

My faith, my heart, my name

One’s core can remain in tact

So much else changes, that’s a fact

 

My nature has always been to love

That was instilled in my soul from above

The way that I show it now has grown

In ways that are well known

 

When I forget who I am inside

And stress leaves me feeling a little fried

I find my way back by quieting my mind

Slowing my thoughts so that I can unwind

 

I then turn to You

You help me through

Each storm that within me rages

Each hurdle I face, You see me through in stages

 

I must grow, must learn

If the rain didn’t soak me, if the fire didn’t burn

I’d remain a child in an adult’s skin

Trials I had to face so that the growing could begin

 

Mistakes were made and sorrows known

But through them, I have flown

Stronger, kinder, and wiser am I

And this will continue to happen by and by

 

I believe that the day I am done growing

Is the day that I am done living

As my reflection changes from day to day

May I still see the core of who I am, I pray

 

No matter how I change throughout the years

May I never let win my sorrows, doubts, or fears

Instead let hope, faith, joy, and love win out

The way of light and laughter is my route

 

I grab my reflection’s hand

We skip through time across the sand

Making the most of life

Pushing past all hurt and strife

 

Loving those who are here while I have the chance

Taking a chance too on my dreams, desires, and romance

As my reflection learns, she grows

That’s just how the story goes

 

Life comes and eventually it fades away

But that doesn’t mean it can’t somehow stay

So I choose to let my legacy live on

To not be forgotten even well after my time here is gone

 

One day you won’t see my face

I will have gone to a better place

My final reflection, what will she look like to you?

I hope that it will be one that you find to be loving and true.

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