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Posts tagged ‘changes’

Break the Cycle

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I’ve been working really hard to be that person. It’s not an easy feat, at all, but when I look at the world today and see so much hatred, ignorance, cruelty, and bitterness, how can I just be a part of that? Sometimes I look at how people treat others and wonder how they came to act that way. I wonder if they were hurt somehow and ask myself what if they’d been shown some compassion, love, forgiveness, or acceptance? What if they had been taught to do the same by someone? Maybe they’d been hurt really badly, but what if just one person had shown them there was a different way to handle things?

We are NOT what happened to us. We are NOT our pasts. We are NOT our mistakes. We are NOT our illnesses. We are NOT defined by the color of our skin, what neighborhood we come from, who are parents are, how much money we have or don’t have for that matter, our political views, our sexual orientation, or any of that which many decide should label us.

We CAN be whatever we choose, no matter what others say we should be. We CAN be greater than the choices we’ve made thus far. We CAN be better than we have been. We CAN make a difference. One person CAN change things for those around them. We don’t have to let the cycle continue. Don’t let the cycle define or confine you. Let the anger, resentment, bitterness, vengeful actions, and state of constant sadness stop here. The choice is yours.

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To Move Forward, We Must Stop Living in the Past…

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There’s a difference between letting the past guide us and living in it. Letting yesterday remind us of where we came from and showing us what to do and often times, not to do can be a good thing. But sometimes, we let the past consume us and forget to live for today and the days yet to come.

To see our potential, grow, and learn, we must move forward. It’s time to quit looking in the rearview mirror or else we might not see where we’re headed and crash. It can be easy to get lost in nostalgia or let the fear that the past stuck with us take over our minds, but it’s important not to forget the world keeps turning no matter what we do. We want to go along for the ride, don’t we? 😉

Another year gone, another just beginning…

2017 is over, wow. I remember the 1980’s, how is it 2018 now? *shakes head* Last year was a roller coaster of highs and lows, as I suppose is true of every year.

My son has been struggling. He’s been getting into trouble, so much acting out and defiance. He’s unhappy at his dad’s, which I know is part of the reason he’s been in trouble. I think he’s got mental health issues, which his dad isn’t dealing with. Part of it too is he’s just not making good choices. We have court soon to try to switch primary placement back to me. I’m hoping the judge sees that a change is needed, that him coming home is what’s best for him. In the end, I think it’ll be what’s best for everyone. I’m tired of watching my son suffer and I’m tired of watching him throw his future away. I hope 2018 brings change for the better for him. He’s a bright young man that can have a wonderful future, but things need to get turned around somehow.

My daughter turned one last year and now she’s nearly two. She’s grown, learned, and changed so much. She’s so inquisitive and I love watching her figure things out. She’s gotten sassier, those terrible two days have come. But even with the challenges, it’s been a great year with her. I love spending my days with her. Her laugh is contagious! When she smiles at me, wants to cuddle, plays with me, shows me she’s understanding what I’m saying, or does something new, it makes my day better. I can hardly wait to see how she grows and learns this year.

My marriage hit a couple of bumps, as have our finances, but we’ve tackled everything head on, together. We’ve faced loss, the death of his grandma hit his family, the death of my aunt hit mine and I’ve lost friends. It’s been hard, but we’ve helped one another get through each day. Marriage, parenthood, and all relationships are maintained one moment, one day at a time. I think 2018 will be better, because we work to make it so.

My first year in business went far beyond my expectations. I met so many wonderful people, some of whom became friends. I’ve learned a lot and aim to continue learning. I expanded my studio, so I can accommodate bigger families. I started doing weddings, newborn sessions, cake smash sessions, adult milestone sessions, etc. I hope to add more styles/types of sessions to my repertoire. I’m excited to see where 2018 takes me and my business.

Here’s to an incredible year we’ve left, may the lessons we’ve learned and great memories we’ve made stay with us. Here’s to a great year ahead, may we continue to learn, grow, and enjoy life while we can.

Oh Snap!

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I haven’t posted in over a month. It feels weird! I’ve been so busy, trying to jump start my photography business and still have time for my family and for myself.

What a crazy and wonderful two months it’s been since this all began. I’ve done 12 photo shoots, most of them being this month. Getting to work with and know these amazing people has been such an incredible experience.

I’m looking forward to seeing where this venture takes me. I’ve been dreaming about doing this for years, but my doubts and insecurities kept me from trying. But, now here I am going for it with all I have. I want to be someone my kids look up to. I also want them to see that going after your dreams is worth the risk.

There’s never a “right time” to begin, to try. The time to believe and do it is now. So, with my heart full of joy and excitement and my mind fully determined and ready to take on the world, I take another step forward.

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40 Weeks

40 Weeks

You realize your period is late

The emotions run wild within

Could I be pregnant or is there something else going on?

And if I am pregnant, how do I feel about this?

 

You take the test and in no time, the results are in

That little plus sign tells you what you needed to know

So now where do we go from here?

Tears erupt and your thoughts run wild

 

Your life has changed dramatically within moments

It’s not just about you now, but also about the life within you

What an amazing and frightening thought

A life is growing inside of you!

 

At first the changes are small

Much like the baby growing inside of you

But then they begin to progress

And soon enough, the miracle within you is easy to see

 

40 weeks is the time frame we’re given

Each week, new things happen for both of you

As they grow, so do you

To provide nourishment and room for them

 

When you have your first ultrasound

There’s no more denying how real this is

The doctor has you take a listen to their tiny and rapid heartbeat

This is really happening!

 

And then nearing week 20 or so

You begin to feel them move

It’s a life altering moment

One that can’t be properly described in words alone

 

As the weeks roll on, the doctors run various tests

They feel, measure, and keep tabs on both of you

All the while, you’re hoping nothing goes wrong

Hoping your child is happy and healthy

 

Baby showers and other preparations are being made

For one so tiny, you find you need quite a bit for them

From clothes and diapers to the crib and car seat

You’re trying to make sure you have all they’ll need

 

You’re well into your third trimester now

And hopefully feeling more at ease about their well being

Torn between waiting for them to finish growing

And wanting to hold them in your arms right now

 

Week 40 is nearly here, if you haven’t delivered already

And you’ve gone from counting down the weeks to days

Part of you is so ready to have your baby already

And part of you is scared, even if it’s not your first child

 

But then the day arrives, the day you’re to meet your baby

The pain is intense and you are just ready for it to be over

You wonder how you’ll make it through this

The emotional roller coaster you’re on is pretty wild

 

But then the time arrives, your child is here

You hear their cries and now you’re in tears too

They wipe your baby off and place them in your arms

And suddenly, all is right in the world

 

When it started, 40 weeks felt like years

A period of time that would stretch on for a life age

But then as you look at your child’s precious face

You realize that was only the beginning.

New Year, New Adventures

2016

2016 is here and has been underway for nearly two weeks now. Time sure flies! Before we know it, 2017 will be here. 😉

I am excited to see all that 2016 has to offer my family and I. In roughly 15 weeks, I will give birth to my daughter. We’ve been trying to prepare little by little, trying to make sure we have what we need.

My son will wrap up seventh grade in a few months. It’s hard to believe sometimes that he will be an eighth grader this fall and at the same time, we’ll have a small child getting ready to celebrate her first Christmas. I feel incredibly blessed.

Right now, we’re in the process of trying to sell our home and look for a bigger one so that everyone in our family has room and my husband and I want to offer more to my son and our daughter. They deserve to live in a nice home, in a nice neighborhood. Where we live right now is okay, but I want better for my kids and we just don’t have the room for them here.

I am also highly motivated to make sure that this is a good year for my husband and myself, in regards to our own personal growth. There are many changes to be made and I am looking forward to making them with him by my side. I am anxious to see what 2016 will have in store for me and also for those I love. Here’s to a great year ahead! It’s what we make it, so we just need to keep our heads high, stay focused, and follow the path God takes us down.

Sometimes procrastination can be harmful…..

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I was on yet another form of birth control and this one, like most of the ones I tried, made me gain weight. I didn’t start to do anything about it until recently. Because I waited so long, I am now 180, my asthma is the worst it’s ever been, it hurts to do simple things like tying my shoes, and so on. I am really starting to suffer way more than just my clothes not fitting right. I wish I’d have been proactive about this sooner. However, I have begun to workout at the gym with my boyfriend, am logging what I eat and drink each day, and have a few sessions with a personal trainer who has now come up with a workout plan that works for me. I am on the path to a better and healthier me. Take a tip from me, don’t wait too long, start working on a better you now, while you’re here to do so.

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