Life is many things to many people. Essentially, it’s what we’re given from the moment we are conceived. But, what it means to us is individualized; it’s personal. What is life to you?
To me, it’s many things…..
Life is being alive, giving, helping others, being kind, friendship, family, breathing, crying, laughter, passion, compassion, faith, beauty, heartache, struggles, sorrow, peace, prayer, art, music, adventure, loving, being loved, truth, lies, deception, the past, the present, the future, thoughts, dreams, ambitions, goals, hope, fear, pain, loss, gain, nature, appreciation, compromise, misunderstandings, fights, manipulations, victory, encouragement, cause, effect, food, nurturing, darkness, light, wondrous, haunting, grudges, forgiveness, emotional, real, and it is unique to each beholder.
Life is full of so much and to experience even half of what it has to offer is an incredible gift. It’s not always easy, but it’s a beautiful thing. To know the wonderful parts of it means one also has experienced the dark and depressing as well. I have wished, more than once, to not be able to feel anything, to be numb to it all, when going through particularly painful things. But, I am glad God never granted that request. Truthfully, I’d rather feel everything than nothing at all.
In my life, I have experienced so much incredible and horrifying things. When asked if I would change any part of my life, I have considered a few things I might. Not being molested or having had to be in the foster care system, yeah, that was at the top of my list. Having a better relationship with my parents and them having a better one with each other, it was right up there too. Mistakes I have made – lies, stealing, and some truly awful things, yeah I have sometimes wished I could take back the horrible things I’d done. Oh and let’s not forget about some of the poor choices I made when it came to friendships and dating! Save myself some heartache, oh you bet! There are so many bad things I’ve dreamed about “fixing”.
But then I’d think about it and realize what changing even one of those things could mean to my life as it is now. There are many wonderful people I wouldn’t have met, including my husband – which then means I wouldn’t have my daughter. If I hadn’t jumped in elbow first with my son’s dad, my amazing boy wouldn’t be here either. If I hadn’t signed those papers in 2005, would I have grown the way I did, the way I needed to? If I hadn’t been friends with the wrong people, would the right ones have come along? There are so many what ifs and questions I don’t want to think about. So when asked if I would change anything about my life, the honest answer is no. As painful as some parts of my life have been, it’s all led me to where and who I am now. The butterfly effect, well, it’s not something I wish to mess with. Instead, I am grateful for the life I have now and am excited to see what it will become in the days ahead.
What about you? Feedback? What are your opinions of life, what it is, what it means to to you, and would you dare to change anything about yours?