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Letting Go

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On the defensive, you retreat
Trying to shield yourself from harm
So high and thick is the wall you have built
Refusing to allow anyone to gain entrance
Yet you’re more vulnerable than ever

You hold a weapon to defend yourself
A sword made from angry and hateful words
They slice through your enemy like butter
Feeling vindicated for the suffering they put you through
And yet still peace doesn’t find you

Confused, surely once you defeated them
You thought you’d be happy, safe, & free
Instead you find yourself more hurt than before
Will it ever really end, you wonder
Will I ever really be alright?

The saying goes, an eye for an eye
One doesn’t just let people walk all over them
You have to fight fire with fire, right?
Let them feel the pain that they caused me!
Surely then I will win and this will all end!

Though now you truly see the damage that’s been done
And among the battles scattered ashes, no one has won
Iron fists of hatred tore you all down
The wall you built is in ruins beneath you
Tell me, was it worth it?

It may seem easier to strike back
To avenge your broken heart
And let bitterness overtake you
Than to let go of the pain and to forgive
But in the end, tell me which one brings peace?

Staring at my reflection in the mirror
I ask that question again
And tell myself, “It’s time to let go.”
I open the doors within my mind
And try to make some sense of what’s inside

As pain and hatred make their way to the door
They tell me they’d really like to stay
But I tell them they’ve worn out their welcome
The time for healing has come
I’m done feeling so worn out, so very tired

As each painful memory begins to heal
A scar forms, but they don’t hurt
They remind me of where I have been
And of who I used to be
But they no longer hold power over me

I’ll never forget what has happened
And nor will I ever forget who I was
But only because I want to become someone better
Each and every single day, that is my desire
To be a better me than I was the day before

Each day, I feel a little freer
My soul soars with the eagles up high
On the wings of the most beautiful butterfly
Hope gives me courage to try
And love gives me the strength to fly

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