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Archive for May, 2013

 One of the things keeping me busy is

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One of the things keeping me busy is my son’s baseball games, here is him with his team on Opening Day for the Appleton West Little League. 🙂 My son is the second one on the right. GO NUMBER TWO! GO TRU GREEN! They won by the way, 4-3 this past Saturday. 🙂

So yeah, May is going to be a very busy month, so I am telling you all ahead of time I am NOT vanishing, even if I haven’t posted in awhile. 😉 This month, besides the usual stuff, I am also going to be moving into a cute little house with my boyfriend, hoping the closing date is sooner rather than later. We have a lot to do in the meantime: packing, furniture shopping, planning, etc. I am so excited! I can’t begin to describe to you how very happy this makes me. I will get to go to sleep and wake up next to the man I love every single day. We are truly going to make a life together now. It’s scary too and I know reality will truly set in then, but I am confident in us and our love. This is going to be amazing.

I hope this summer is busy actually and that when I do update, I will have a lot to share with you guys and dolls. I also hope that all of you are getting out there and enjoying life as well. I want to see pictures from vacations, afternoons at the park, board game nights, and other fun times with family and friends. I want to hear how lives are changing. I know there will be hard times, but I hope to see that you’re coping, healing, and moving forward. I want to read about interesting topics and healthy debates. Keep sharing and I will do the same! Take care, WordPress family!

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Yes, words escape even me sometimes….

I have been known throughout my life to be one who often has the right thing to say to someone, who can help, who often knows how to cheer one up, who knows how to make things better, & who has great advice. (though doesn’t always take it myself. *laughs*) I have been called an Empath since childhood. Even if I haven’t been through something, I am able to put myself in their shoes, and feel the emotions as if I were going through it myself…which has often led me to being able to be there for others.

Sometimes that “gift” can be a bit overwhelming, especially when going through a lot myself at any given time. Taking on my problems and others can be a bit daunting, but overall I am glad I have the ability to be there for so many people. I am the helper, healer, giver, motivator, and I am okay with that most of the time. Now and then, I need that in return, but usually I am alright.

However, there are times when someone is going through something and even I lack the proper words to say, sometimes I just don’t know what to do. I wish not to offend anyone and I know that there are times that while something might comfort me, it might not be what helps them. Sometimes all I can really do is be there, listen if they need me to, hug them, cry with them. I know that means a lot, but sometimes I feel horrible when I can’t heal, fix, or change the situation. I should not beat myself up over it, some things in life just can’t be made better. Sometimes all we can do is find ways to help people cope, it’s just difficult sometimes to do.

Today would be the 33rd wedding anniversary for my boyfriend’s parents. His mom died on November 17th, 2012. It’s been a bit rough for him, his sisters, his dad, and her parents. Getting through their first Christmas, New Years, some of their birthdays, etc has been difficult for them. I never know quite what to do or say when I know they’re hurting.

She had an obsession with the number three, hence May 3rd being their anniversary. She even felt the need to have three kids, even though Doug’s dad was fine with two kids. I am grateful for her love of the number three, Doug is their third child. 🙂 Anyway, so this would have been a major anniversary for her, it being the 33rd. Doug’s dad is struggling with this and tonight they’re going out to eat at a place they liked to go have pizza, play cards, and just have a good time as a family. I have been invited, so I will go, to show my support for Doug and Phil. I don’t know if either of his sisters will be there, but I can imagine either way that today must be hard for them too, especially with Mother’s Day being next Sunday. My heart breaks for them as I type this. My eyes sting from the tears and I have to keep pausing so that I can wipe the tears away.

My mom and I haven’t always been close. In fact, we’ve been “at war” as it were for years at a time. We’ve begun the healing process and I am grateful to be where we’re at now, even more so considering the many I know who don’t have their mom around anymore. I wish I could take the pain away from Doug, from his family. God had a reason she was to leave at this time, one we don’t understand, especially given the circumstances…but we know God is good. Doug has an amazing family, so grateful they have one another to lean on through all of this. Doug tells me that my support means a lot to him and I know that it does. Still, sometimes I wish I could do more. Sometimes I wish I had just the right words to say, that there’d be a way to make things alright for him, for all of them. I have grown to love not only Doug, but his family as well. I know I can’t make things right, all I can do is be here. Though it doesn’t feel like enough to me, I know it’s all I can do right now, and I know that through my lack of words, Doug knows I care and will support him through this and everything we each face….because we’re no longer going through things alone, we face things together.

I pray for healing and for peace for Doug and his family. Let their love for You and for one another help them through this. And help those surrounding them to be of comfort to them, to be patient, to be understanding, to be caring, to just be there. Maybe we won’t have the right words to say, but just allow us to be the comfort and care that they need. I also pray for my cousins Chris, Scott, & Kari…and their dad, Mother’s Day will be rough for them too as they still struggle with the loss of their mom, my aunt Debbie. I pray for all who will struggle to get through that day, as many have lost their mom. I also thank You for giving me more time with my own mother. I am blessed. I often complain about what is going wrong in my life, beg for a job lead to pan out, ask for financial help, whine about the weather, complain about not feeling well or about feeling “old”….but there is so much to be grateful for. Thank you for the many blessings…..for my parents, my step-mom, my son, his dad and step-mom, for my siblings, for my remaining aunts and uncles, for my cousins, for my nephews, for my niece, for my boyfriend, for his amazing family, for my friends, for my life, for my gifts and talents, for YOUR love….thank You. 

I pray that today is a day to remember and rejoice in the good times…somehow they will get through today as they have the other days that were especially hard for them…they will get through them because they love You and one another, their love and support will help them through…sometimes words can’t make things better, but love and support surely goes along way, even when it’s silent. ❤

A reason to eat cake, but then do we really need an occasion???

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150 subscribers? Me, really?!?!?! Wow! So, I wanted to take a few moments to say thank you, once more, for being amazing! Thank you for the continued support, the feedback, the encouragement, the laughs, the friendship, the inspiration, for letting me inspire you, and for the love. You are all so fantastic, so unique, and I am honored to have each one of you as part of my WordPress family. 

I never imagined that joining this site would do so much for me. I joined originally to put my thoughts, feelings, dreams, and experiences where others could see them because my friend said she thought I could inspire people with my story, with what I have been through, and how I have changed over the years. What I didn’t consider was that in turn, people would inspire me so profoundly as well. Nor did I know so many people would be reading this, that my blog would generate a following, if you will. Each like, comment, award nomination, and re-blog has humbled me. You have no idea the impact this site has made in my life since joining in July of 2012, especially since January of this year. So again, THANK YOU! Thank you for being simply outstanding, just thank you!!!

Let’s continue to share, inspire, and be inspired! There is so much good yet to come for us in 2013!!! Let’s begin with today! Be someone’s reason to smile, enjoy life, and love as fiercely as you can! Celebrate life and hey, enjoy some virtual cake before you go! 😉

It starts with you!

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So often in life, many of us look to others to fill a void, to make them “complete”, to make them happy, to give them acceptance, to feel needed, to feel important. We want others to like us, trust us, respect us, believe in us, give us a purpose, to love us. What I have learned in the last year or so and I mean truly learned is that acceptance, respect, happiness, peace, and love must first come from within ourselves. I have heard the phrase, “One must first love themselves before another can truly love you.” and others like it for years and while on some level, I knew that to be true, I still, like so many yearned for others to accept and love me.

It is so easy today to look into a mirror, to dwell upon one’s thoughts, to look at society today and compare ourselves to others, and then find countless flaws. While it is true that no one is perfect, that we are all indeed flawed creatures, there is also so much about us that is wonderful. When one, like myself, has been put down for much of their life, it is easy to doubt, to have insecurities that surpass the amount of good traits we feel we have within us. It is so easy to break a person’s spirit down, so easy to break our trust, but it can take a lifetime to build it all back up.

So, on a side note, I will say this….watch what you say and do to others for it can have a lasting impact that you may never even see. Telling fat jokes, laughing at a stranger for their appearance, etc really can tear another down and the path back to confidence is usually a daunting one. You don’t want to be picked on or laughed at, so do watch how you treat others. That saying, “Do unto others as you’d have done unto you.” really hits home. I see such horrid behavior displayed towards others and sadly, the worst of it isn’t found on the playground. Such cruelty is often practiced by adults who ought to “know better.” I suppose though such attitudes people have are often taught and nurtured from childhood, as is compassion, love, respect, and so on. What we learn as children often carries on into adulthood, habits can be broken, but it is hard. So, we ought to watch what we teach our kids too, not just what we tell them to do….but also what we say when they think we’re not listening and also our actions speak volumes as well. Teach, promote, and live kindness, peace, and love so that others may follow in that path!

Anyway, back to my original message. 😉 We all want peace within us, but that peace must come from ourselves. No one else can give that to us. People can encourage us left and right, but unless we believe in ourselves, it will never really matter what another thinks of us. We have to battle the inner demons within us and see the goodness. Look in the mirror and see the beauty that God made. Even if you don’t believe in God like I do, surely you must still know how wonderful the human body is, how amazing, how intricate. We’re not destined to look like another, unless you’re an identical twin *smirks*, so why do we so often feel like we’re not good enough unless we look more like so and so? We come in various shapes, sizes, and colors. We’re all beautiful! But, reading this will not convince you of that if you don’t already see your own beauty for yourself. 😉

If you want to succeed, you must work for it! Don’t wait for your dream life to be handed to you on a silver platter, get up, go out there, make connections, and do what you need to do to make an honest living. If you want to be a painter, then paint! If you want to be a writer, then write! If you want to sing, than sing! If you want to be a teacher, then teach! Work hard for what you want! If it is possible and it’s not happening, the only one to blame is yourself! We all hit roadblocks along the way throughout life, but circumstances don’t define us, what we do from there is what does! We all fall, but we must get back up, even when it’s painful to do so. Sometimes it seems as if it would be easier to stay on the cold ground and hate the world for our lives, for what has happened to us, easier to whine than it is to change, to get back up, to do what we need to do….but if we put in that hard work and we do what we must, the rewards for that prove to be worth it.

All I want to be and have in life starts with me. I can’t expect anyone of you to fix my past, to make things right, to give me what I seek. I must work hard and go after the life I want and I have been doing that. So, the same is true of each of you! Don’t expect anyone else to fix your past, to make things right, to give you what you seek! If you want to have a good life, you must work for it. Stop blaming your parents, an ex, your current significant other, your kids, your former classmates, co-workers, etc for your spot in life now. You are in charge of your future, so take charge of it, and make your life what you want it to be. Yesterday is gone, find a way to let it go, and move forward. The time is now and it starts with you!

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