So often in life, many of us look to others to fill a void, to make them “complete”, to make them happy, to give them acceptance, to feel needed, to feel important. We want others to like us, trust us, respect us, believe in us, give us a purpose, to love us. What I have learned in the last year or so and I mean truly learned is that acceptance, respect, happiness, peace, and love must first come from within ourselves. I have heard the phrase, “One must first love themselves before another can truly love you.” and others like it for years and while on some level, I knew that to be true, I still, like so many yearned for others to accept and love me.
It is so easy today to look into a mirror, to dwell upon one’s thoughts, to look at society today and compare ourselves to others, and then find countless flaws. While it is true that no one is perfect, that we are all indeed flawed creatures, there is also so much about us that is wonderful. When one, like myself, has been put down for much of their life, it is easy to doubt, to have insecurities that surpass the amount of good traits we feel we have within us. It is so easy to break a person’s spirit down, so easy to break our trust, but it can take a lifetime to build it all back up.
So, on a side note, I will say this….watch what you say and do to others for it can have a lasting impact that you may never even see. Telling fat jokes, laughing at a stranger for their appearance, etc really can tear another down and the path back to confidence is usually a daunting one. You don’t want to be picked on or laughed at, so do watch how you treat others. That saying, “Do unto others as you’d have done unto you.” really hits home. I see such horrid behavior displayed towards others and sadly, the worst of it isn’t found on the playground. Such cruelty is often practiced by adults who ought to “know better.” I suppose though such attitudes people have are often taught and nurtured from childhood, as is compassion, love, respect, and so on. What we learn as children often carries on into adulthood, habits can be broken, but it is hard. So, we ought to watch what we teach our kids too, not just what we tell them to do….but also what we say when they think we’re not listening and also our actions speak volumes as well. Teach, promote, and live kindness, peace, and love so that others may follow in that path!
Anyway, back to my original message. 😉 We all want peace within us, but that peace must come from ourselves. No one else can give that to us. People can encourage us left and right, but unless we believe in ourselves, it will never really matter what another thinks of us. We have to battle the inner demons within us and see the goodness. Look in the mirror and see the beauty that God made. Even if you don’t believe in God like I do, surely you must still know how wonderful the human body is, how amazing, how intricate. We’re not destined to look like another, unless you’re an identical twin *smirks*, so why do we so often feel like we’re not good enough unless we look more like so and so? We come in various shapes, sizes, and colors. We’re all beautiful! But, reading this will not convince you of that if you don’t already see your own beauty for yourself. 😉
If you want to succeed, you must work for it! Don’t wait for your dream life to be handed to you on a silver platter, get up, go out there, make connections, and do what you need to do to make an honest living. If you want to be a painter, then paint! If you want to be a writer, then write! If you want to sing, than sing! If you want to be a teacher, then teach! Work hard for what you want! If it is possible and it’s not happening, the only one to blame is yourself! We all hit roadblocks along the way throughout life, but circumstances don’t define us, what we do from there is what does! We all fall, but we must get back up, even when it’s painful to do so. Sometimes it seems as if it would be easier to stay on the cold ground and hate the world for our lives, for what has happened to us, easier to whine than it is to change, to get back up, to do what we need to do….but if we put in that hard work and we do what we must, the rewards for that prove to be worth it.
All I want to be and have in life starts with me. I can’t expect anyone of you to fix my past, to make things right, to give me what I seek. I must work hard and go after the life I want and I have been doing that. So, the same is true of each of you! Don’t expect anyone else to fix your past, to make things right, to give you what you seek! If you want to have a good life, you must work for it. Stop blaming your parents, an ex, your current significant other, your kids, your former classmates, co-workers, etc for your spot in life now. You are in charge of your future, so take charge of it, and make your life what you want it to be. Yesterday is gone, find a way to let it go, and move forward. The time is now and it starts with you!