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It’s a longstanding “joke”, though not a joke in some cases, about a man who cleans his shotgun(s) and makes any man who takes his daughter out nervous, who lets the young man know that he is to respect her, not harm her, and have her home in time…and if he doesn’t, he knows he’ll learn the meaning of fear.

I am a mother and I don’t have daughters, just one unbelievably handsome son. On one hand, being a woman, I see wanting to protect your girls from men who would take advantage of them, who would harm them in any way. I have dated some lousy men in my past. As a parent in general, we don’t want to see our children get hurt, to end up friends with the wrong sort, to end up dating/married to an abusive person….and by abuse, I don’t just mean physical abuse. Verbal abuse is both mentally and emotionally damaging, which can also result in negative physical effects as well. We just want our children to be happy, long story short.

Well fathers, I am here to tell you that I am a mother of a son who is first instructing him how to treat others. I want him to have respect for his fellow man, to know how to treat his elders, how to treat his bosses, and how to treat women…with respect, dignity, and class. I want to make it perfectly clear to him that it is not acceptable to hit, talk down to, or mistreat another, especially women. I am also teaching him though that it is not okay to be walked all over just because he’s a nice guy. Men, some of your daughters aren’t so saintly and you need to realize it’s not always the man at fault when a relationship is unhealthy, when things go sour. Sometimes the women beat the men, talk down to them, use them, lie to them, cheat on them. It is not okay to treat others like this, no matter the gender. My son will know that if he should harm a woman, regardless of his age, he will still answer to me. I taught him better and he will be put in his place. However, should a woman hurt my son, she will find she’ll be answering to me too. 😉

Learning the hard way myself, I have seen that love can be a difficult journey….finding it, nurturing it, and keeping it alive. I do feel though that if two people work together that it is a beautiful path to take, to embark on as two souls who are somehow separate, and also one. I want my son to have that one day, with a woman who loves him as much as he loves her. I want them to grow together, bring out the best in one another, work together because it’s going to get rough at times, who will not give in at the first sign of stress. I want him to find someone who makes him laugh, who can be silly with him, who will accept him as he is as he accepts her as she is, who will treat my son with the respect he deserves….knowing that he too is a gentleman and respectful to her. I know it’s possible, one day, though for now…he’s busy being a 10 year old boy. But rest assured fathers of your lovely daughters, he’s being raised well, with proper values. When he comes to your door, know she is in good hands, that he will bring her home happy and unharmed….or you won’t have to even threaten to shoot him, he has to come home to me and that might just be worse. 😉

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Comments on: "From the mother of a son who will one day date your daughter…." (11)

  1. I remember for prom I got my date home on time. Then we staid in my car until 4am. We mostly just talked, I swear. Had my keys taken away from me as soon as I got home. Mom wasn’t happy about the 4am phone call.

    I’ve heard from a father the point is to make the kid nervous. If he’s nervous, it’s a good kid. He’s respectful, he has fear, he understands life has consequences. When the boyfriend shows no fear it’s trouble. That’s the one who doesn’t care what happens and believes there are no consequences for actions.

    The first time I meet any boyfriends, they better be terrified. I don’t even have a daughter (and maybe I never will), but if I do God save the boy that takes my daughter out.

    Like

    • ramblingsofabipolarwoman said:

      Indeed, the one who is respectful and actually cares what the parents think of them is generally a good person and the one without fear of consequences and is just going to do as they please is the one to worry about. My son will definitely have fear put into him before he even gets to the girl’s house, because he has rules to follow first of all, and secondly, if I hear he’s done something he shouldn’t….he’s going to face me and he already doesn’t like it when I am angry. 😉

      Like

  2. I love this. I totally agree with you. It is amazing to me how many parents DON’T think like this. So happy you do:)

    Like

  3. prayingforoneday said:

    ha ha I can relate to this (Just)
    I have two son in “Deep” relationships (As you can have as a late teenager)
    But my two princess’s, they are 2 and 3, nearly 3 and 4, I look forward 12 years and can imagine me and their big brothers detaining ANY Boyfriend and getting all info from him, you know usual stuff, Blood type, DNA Sample, all address’ he has ever lived at, just normal stuff..

    I can relate (Just)

    🙂 x

    Like

    • ramblingsofabipolarwoman said:

      Ha ha, nice. 😉 I know you’ll want to protect your girls, any good father (or parent) really would. I want my son to know what he’ll face from the parents of the girls he likes lol, to be ready, and to already be one step ahead of the other guys who are interested…and to know before he starts dating what is expected of him, how he is to treat them, and yes…to know how he should be treated. 😉

      Like

      • prayingforoneday said:

        Well said..
        I am close to 40 years old (WOW THAT HURT) And I spent and do spend many hours explaining to my two sons how to treat a woman, how it may hurt, and it is for my oldest son, his partner is away for 6 months. All we do is advice the best we can. In the end they “WILL” Do as they please. But planting the seeds early is important. My Daughter who is 4 in a week or two, I am already planting small seeds in her mind. She has NO IDEA now, but if I keep saying the right things to both my daughters, the penny I hope will drop..Not easy being a parent, but also the best experience EVER… 🙂

        Shaun x

        Like

      • ramblingsofabipolarwoman said:

        Agreed, on all counts! We can’t make them be a certain way, just have to do the best we can to teach them good values and hope they take something from it. And yeah, being a parent isn’t easy, but it is definitely rewarding!

        Like

      • prayingforoneday said:

        We read from the same page… 🙂

        x

        Like

      • ramblingsofabipolarwoman said:

        🙂

        Like

      • prayingforoneday said:

        😛

        Like

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