Seeing one’s own beauty and worth can be difficult. The world around us is good at making us feel like we’re less than what we should be. If you lose weight, get your breasts done, wear make-up, wear clothes that flatter your curves, talk the way people want you to talk, get the job people expect you to have, gain weight in some cases, befriend those high on the popularity throne, and simply put…do as your told, then maybe, just maybe you’ll be worth something, be found beautiful/handsome, get where you want in life. So many people spend so much time trying to please others, trying to be what others want them to be, even though it violates their very core. There is so much fake now a days. It’s become hard to see the true beauty in those around us, in ourselves.
It’s not wrong to want friends, acceptance, to be loved, to want to find our soul mates, or to want people to be proud of us. However, when we lose ourselves to achieve any of this, then that’s when we have violated the natural order of things, committed a crime against ourselves. Deceiving others in the name of anything is just wrong. It’s just so hard to not give in sometimes though, is it not?
That beautiful girl, if I just change who I am, she will be mine. She is so intriguing, lovely, intelligent, and wonderful. Surely sacrificing my integrity, morals, and interests is worth it, right? If I can hold her in my arms, all will be well, right? That dream job, making it big, all they want me to do is become someone that can sell records and to do that, I just have to change everything. But then, I will be rich, famous, everyone will know who I am, and I will get to be on stage, where I belong. So, it’s a small price to pay at the end of the day, right? If I lose weight, change the way I dress, and pretend not to like school, then maybe the boys at school will notice me and the girls will stop teasing me. It’s hard going home at night, crying because I am never invited to the parties and never asked out on a date. I don’t really like those girls, but I’d rather be one of them than all alone.
The world around us expects us to be a certain way. Do this or do that and we will all be accepted, loved, adored, noticed. Don’t be comfortable in your own skin, that’s just not right! Be like me and you’ll be cool! Be you and be shunned!!! I know that’s not true of everyone. I know there are a lot of people out there who accept another for who they are, but there are so many out there who don’t.
I urge you to find the beauty within. Change isn’t always bad, it just depends on the change and why you’re doing it. I want to lose weight, but not because the media says I’m fat. I don’t care if I look like a model or can wear a size two anymore. I simply want to be healthy, toned, able to keep up with my 10 year old son. I want to know what I am putting into my body is good for me. I want to take care of the vessel that God gave me. I will do it naturally, as I have been. There won’t be pills, diet fads, starving myself, etc. I have been trying to eat healthier, workout, park further away on purpose just to get some exercise, etc. I joined bowling league, two of them. I am doing this for me and my health, not for a guy or for anyone else.
If you want to change your wardrobe, weight, job, appearance, etc, do it for you. If your main reason(s) for change is to please others, re-evaluate things. To have another’s true acceptance anyhow, you need to be you or you will forever wonder if they like you for you or something else. Living with doubt is not fun and really not necessary. Be true to yourself and the right people will accept you. Those who don’t accept you don’t need to be a part of your life.
Again, find the beauty within, both inside and out. Love who you are and let that confidence show. I have been told for years that confidence is a huge turn on, as long as it doesn’t become conceit. Those who constantly put themselves down aren’t going to get the attention they want, not going to get where they want to be. Clinging to pity isn’t healthy either. Find a way to hold your head up high. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you’re worth something, no matter how others treat you. Show your talents, find a way to use them. Be proud of your abilities: Drawing, sculpting, singing, writing, driving, cooking, cleaning, raising a family, sewing, designing, playing a sport, playing an instrument, being a good listener, taking care of animals, and so on. We’re all good at something and even the things that often get overlooked are important. Being good to those around you is a talent so many people don’t possess and even more don’t value it. Whatever your talent(s) might be, use them for good and let yourself shine. Let your vibrant light shine.
I try to find beauty in everyone, even those that are so hard to find it in. We’re all here for a reason, all have worth. I sometimes get laughed at for those I befriend. I don’t hang out with anyone just to up my cool points. If you and I have a connection, if you’re a good person, if you mean something to me…then it doesn’t matter what anyone around me thinks. And of the people I just don’t like, I still try to see them as God would. They are worth something, perhaps not much to me, but to God and to others. Putting others down doesn’t lift me up. I am going to keep trying to see the beauty, even when it might be so hard to see.
I know my worth. For years, I had very little confidence in myself. I have been scolded for putting myself down, for being too hard on myself. It’s taken years to see my own beauty. Kids at school made me feel ugly, stupid, unimportant, and unworthy of friendship. I let them determine my worth. I am now strong enough to see past what others think. I see myself as a beautiful woman, both inside and out. I have a compassionate and loving soul who wants those around me to be happy and successful and when they’re not, I do what I can to help, even if it’s just being someone to vent to. I am a talented writer, always with room for growing and improving, but talented none the less. We can all grow and improve, can we not? There is no such thing as being the best, in my opinion, because even “the best” can improve. I am a talented singer and photographer. I am great with details, planning, and organization. I am worth a lot, to others and finally to myself.
Do you see your worth? I hope that you do and if you struggle with it, I pray that you find a way to overcome any doubts you have. Your view of yourself is in your control. If you feel someone has it other than yourself, you need to drop that illusion. Take that “control” back. Each of you reading this is worth a lot, whether you believe it or not. I encourage you to compliment yourself. Do it every day, the more you do, the easier it will be for you to believe it and spread that kindness to others. Let us encourage confidence and kindness.