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Random Thoughts

I love my family. We’re a bunch of nuts, fight sometimes, don’t even talk often at all to some, and we so have our share of issues, but they mean everything to me. Family, blood or not, you’re in my heart now and forever.

15 days until my birthday, oh my gosh, so excited!!!!! This is going to be the best birthday EVER!!!!!! I am excited to spend the time with so many friends whom I love dearly. And for the first time ever, I will be with someone, someone I love with all of my heart, someone who is beyond wonderful. I have an amazing support system through the bad times who is a great crew to laugh and celebrate with. Oh yes, good times WILL be had….beginning on the 14th and ending on the 19th as I drag my tired and over partied self to sleep lol. I look forward to the laughter, the smiles, the pictures, the singing, the hugs, the food, the drinks, the music, and most of all the love.

Grandma is so infuriating to deal with sometimes, but I love her more than words could ever say. I owe this to her and even to myself to stick with this, with her. I am going to give it all I have for as long as humanly possible to keep her at home, to make sure she knows she is loved, to make sure she’s taken care of. I will only step back when I know there’s nothing more I can do and I am stubborn, so it’s going to take an awful lot for that to happen. She is my grandma, gave life to my mother and uncles. She’s spoiled me endlessly for years and still does when she can. She’s been the typical grandma in many aspects. But, she has also been another mom since I was 17 years old. She has yelled at me, put me in my place, helped me, encouraged me, and loved me through so many hard times. She was an amazing support during my pregnancy and the whole Jason thing. She’s been simply amazing. And, she is my friend. I can talk to her about so many things. We make each other laugh and I honestly like hanging out with her. If I should live to see her pass, it would be the hardest thing I ever had to deal with. Losing her would be losing a piece of myself. But, I am not focused on that. I am focused on the here and now. She is still here and I want to make the most of that. ♥

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