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Will You Stay?

When you’re here

Things are generally great

You make me laugh, uncontrollably at times

I hadn’t smiled like that it what felt like ages

You have helped me begin to heal

 

You have been a friend to me

Always willing to listen

Letting me vent for as long as I need to

Even when you tell me you need someone to talk to

Never showing any anger or impatience

 

I feel all giddy and nervous when you’re near

Like a teenager discovering love

You have accepted me as I am

Taking the good with the bad

Never judging me

 

Thus it was I noticed

I’d fallen for my friend

It’s what I’ve always wanted

To have someone in my life

That is both my friend and my lover

 

So why is it I am unhappy?

Pushing for more

Because I feel I’m pulling most of the weight

Bending my schedule to meet your needs

Feeling unappreciated for my sacrifices

 

Once you’re with me

All feels well

I have my friend

To talk to, to laugh with

Someone who is there for me

 

I have my lover

To kiss, to hold

The one who never pushes me away

When I just need to be held

Someone who makes me smile

 

But your fear of commitment

Your hatred for titles

Holding me at arms length

When I try to take this a step further

I feel crushed inside

 

Should I hold my tongue?

Should I speak my mind?

I fear you’ll run away if I say something

And I want you to stay

I feel so torn inside

 

I want to be with someone who cares

And this I know you do

But is it enough?

Do I wait?

Will your walls of steel ever come down?

 

Will you ever be ready to really be with me?

To introduce me to the people in your life?

I keep asking myself

Do I wait?

And if so, how long?

 

I try not to nitpick

To enjoy what is

But these nagging feelings keep eating at me

If I keep my mouth shut

Perhaps you’ll stay

 

And then perhaps if I wait long enough

You’ll see what you have standing in front of you

We’ll move forward together

Growing the friendship

Taking the love to new heights

 

But perhaps I’d see I waited for nothing

That you’d never be ready

And I passed on chances to be truly happy

Such a tough call

So unsure of what to do

 

I have been here before

There is a time and place for things

A time to wait and a time to go

I want to go places with you

For what we have to grow

 

Sometimes I see that you want that too

But there’s always something holding you back

I know your past has been rough

But mine has been too

And I just want to move beyond it, with you

 

When you look at me

I see so much

I can feel the joy

Sense the fear

And taste the passion

 

When you’re with me

I feel as if it’s where you truly want to be

I don’t feel like second best

What’s between us is real

The heat, the passion, the compassion, the friendship

 

When I cry

You hold me

When I’m stressed

You try to make me laugh

You always seem to know how to be there

 

So are my issues just me thinking too much?

Expecting too much too soon?

Am I sending another relationship down the tubes?

I sit here and ask myself so many questions

Trying to figure everything out

 

Are my issues validated?

Do I have reason for concern?

Do I speak my mind?

Will you listen?

Will you run?

 

If I speak my mind

Will you stick around?

Will you run away?

Will you listen?

Again, I want to know if you’ll stay?

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